Ask Away Wednesday: 5 Ways to Flirt

ask away flirting

Photo Credit: Stuart Miles |

I am a newlywed wife and I’ve been struggling with something. How do you flirt with your husband after marriage? It was easy when we were dating, but now with real life it just isn’t effortless anymore. Do you have any suggestions? 

This is a fantastic question, dear reader!

Great timing too with Valentine’s Day coming up this weekend.

This question applies to all wives, whether you’re newly married or approaching a 25th wedding anniversary. You’re right, sweet sister, that it does take real effort to be playful and flirty.  Here’s something we can all repeat to ourselves:

Commit to never letting the spark go out in your marriage. [Tweet this

Some things to remember:

  • Flirting should be natural. What works for me may not work for you and your husband and vice versa. Find something that you feel comfortable with and go for it.
  • Flirting should be freeing. You may be feeling shy, but remember confidence is sexy. Give flirting an honest effort.
  • Flirting should be fun.  Enjoy yourselves. Laugh a little. It’s okay to be silly.

5 Ways to Flirt 

F – Favorites – What are a few of your favorite things about your husband? Think about your five senses. What do you like to see, hear, taste, smell, and touch? For example: I love my husband’s cologne. When I catch a whiff of his spicy scent, I like to pull him in for a passionate kiss when he’s not expecting it. 

L – Laugh – Remember when you were dating and you playfully teased each other? Well, why stop now that you’re married.  For example: I remember “borrowing” a hoodie from my then-boyfriend, now-husband and making him chase me around campus until I’d give it back. Now we like to occasionally do this around our house. It usually results in lots of laughing and he has to “pay the ransom” a.k.a. kiss me.  Let him hear you laugh and giggle. Trust me. He’ll enjoy it.

I – Ignite the passion early. Start with a good morning kiss. Join him in the shower for a little hands-on action. Let him know how you’ll miss him during the day when he leaves. Send him a check-in text or email during the day For example: I’m thinking of you and all the wonderful ‘things’ you do… See you tonight, lover! ;o) Set the stage for when he arrives home and toss out some flirty compliments as you greet him.

R – Read for ideas. Use the resources below for other great ideas on flirting. Make a folder or document on your computer to drop flirting, dating, and romance ideas.

T – Technology – Your smartphones are a great resource.

  • Create fun “code words” for sex or intimacy. This is a great option if you’re texting or emailing your husband and you don’t want to risk something “too risque” being seen by other eyes. Adam and I’ve been doing this since our early days and it’s a fun way to let him know you’re interested.
  • Shoot him a photo while he’s away. For example, I could share a photo of myself with a sign that reads ‘Can’t wait to see you at home tonight, sexy!’ 
  • Share a calendar with each other? Adam and I recently synced our Google Calendars so we have a better sense of each others’ schedules. I’ve purposely slipped in a few “dates” like: Makeout Session with Adam. Wednesday. 9 P.M. or Breakfast in Bed with Adam. Saturday 8 A.M. Clothing Optional. 
  • Use a messenger app. Sit across a room or a table from each other and send “flirty” messages. Make a rule that you have to carry on a conversation for a set amount of time before “touching.” You can start with playing footsie to leaning across and kissing his hand to… well… use your imagination.
  • Play a romantic song or your first dance song from your wedding from Pandora or another music app to get you both in the mood.
  • Check out some great romance ideas on my Pinterest page.



Share with Us: What’s your favorite way to flirt with your spouse? 


This Upcoming Week in Social Media

Twitter – fun flirty text message ideas to send to your husband

Facebook – more resources for flirting ideas & the first ever Weekly Wrap-Up

Pinterest – check back on my Love Your Honey board for featured flirting tips


  1. elfurymcs

    Linked to your post here. I like the “code words” idea… reminds me of secret message panties.

  2. I, myself, had had problems with “How to flirt!” and I find this very resourceful. Its also easy to remember, because you just use the letters (FLIRT).

    • I like things that are easy to remember and acronyms make it easy. Thanks for visiting Stephanie.

  3. These are great tips for flirting, Hannah. It’s easy to get out of the habit.

    Thanks so much for sharing my article.

    • You’re welcome. Thanks for commenting. You’re right. It’s easy to forget this important little detail in marriage. I’m making a conscious effort in my marriage recently to make flirting a habit.


  1. Best Christian Sex Links of the Week | Married Christian Sex

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