The Spirit-filled Wife, Day 6
Sometimes I wish there was a good wives guide to loving your husband. Meeting the world’s definition of a good wife is impossible. Proverbs 31:12 says, “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Becoming like the good Proverbs-31-wife would be impossible too, except we have something the world doesn’t have – Jesus.
2 Peter 1:3 says, “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness.”
Being a good wife certainly looks different than being a good friend, a good mother, and a good Christian. You certainly don’t want to treat him like your girl friends, praise him like your children or pet, pray for him like he’s your enemy, or act like his underling in the office. These things are actually doing him more harm, than good.
How to Talk with Him like His Wife
Don’t treat him like he’s you girlfriend. Something I often forget is my husband doesn’t like a ton of details. He doesn’t need to know where I was, what I was doing, who I was with, what I was wearing, at what stoplight I was sitting at when I thought of the idea for a date night we should do next Saturday night after we make sure it’s okay to use his parent’s formal dining room… and oh, I chatted with his mom on the phone today about it and she shared with me how his grandparents are doing.
- Skip the irrelevant details.
- Be respectful of his time.
- Be present when you talk.
- Avoid venting.
- Give him a heads-up.
How to Praise Him like His Wife
Don’t praise him like your children or a pet. Your husband shouldn’t expect a treat for ‘good’ behavior. You shouldn’t use sex as a bargaining chip. Instead, praise him as his wife…
- through your words by expressing gratitude when he does something you appreciate
- through your words by casually uplifting your husband in public and speaking well of him always
- through non-verbal communication by touch – a hug or a kiss
- through surprising him on occasion instead of scheduling an automatic reward
- through the gift of frequent sexual intimacy and access to your body daily
- through remembering the things he requests and following through
How to Pray for Him Like His Wife
There’s nothing wrong with praying for your husband. However, you need the right attitude before you pray. Desiring your husband to be a better [fill-in-the-blank] fundamentally stems from a heart of discontentment and judgment.
Hannah Anderson from Sometimes-A-Light writes that “your prayers for your husband should be like Christ’s prayers for you – prayers of unconditional love, protection, affirmation, and support.” Your prayers should be “directed toward what God I doing in his life, not where he needs to pick up the slack.”
- Seek to be right with God before you pray.
- Ask God to show you how to be more loving toward your husband.
- Pray for your husband to experience the love, joy, and peace of God.
- Pray for your husband to be protected from the Evil One.
- Pray for your husband to feel affirmed in your marriage.
- Pray that you would be a supportive wife.
How to Act Like His Wife
Your husband isn’t your boss. He desires to know you and be known by you.
- Let your husband know what you’re thinking honestly and respectfully.
- Give well-thought-out reasons for when you disagree – something more than just “I don’t feel like it.”
- Seek genuine peace with him by respectfully letting him know when you are hurt by his actions or words. Don’t just avoid disagreements because you want to ‘keep the peace’ or you don’t know how he’ll take it.
- Remember you don’t need to compete with your husband or impress him. He already picked you. Work to do your personal best, but don’t overwhelm yourself by comparing yourself to other women.
The good wife is the Spirit-filled wife, allowing God’s goodness to fill her heart and outpour into her marriage, and actively seeks to eliminate words and actions that harm her marriage.
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This post is Day 6 of the 30 Dates in November Challenge 2014. Sign-up via email. Receive daily challenges, additional encouragement, and extra goodies.
How do you practice good in your marriage? How does being Spirit-filled help you to exhibit goodness?
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