Words of Wisdom: To Know and Be Known

To Know and Be Known

Now Adam knew Eve his wife...” Genesis 4:1

Wait, what? That’s the words of wisdom from the Bible you’re going to share with us today? you might be thinking. Bear with me. This verse is more important than you realize. This verse gets at the heart of what your relationship with God and your relationship with your spouse is supposed to look like.

The keyword is “knew” or “know.”  Know is defined, by Merriam-Webster Dictionary,  as “having a clear and complete idea about someone, to understand fully, to perceive directly.” I could quote the entire chapter of Psalm 139 but I’ll just hit key points. This is what God does for you. He “searches and knows” you, He knows your sittings and risings, goings, comings, and lying downs, your every thought, your every way, the words you will speak before you speak them, and He created and knitted you together. He knows all the intricacies and details of you. He has a clear, complete idea of you, understands you fully, and perceives you directly.

The greatest desire God has for you is to know Him and to be known by Him. God designed woman [and man] for relationship. A relationship, at its bare minimum, requires a certain degree of knowing. Even with strangers, you understand your lack of knowing and that affects how you interact with them.  A marriage is designed to reflect the relationship of Christ and His Bride, the Church [Ephesians 5:22-33]. You are designed to intimately know and be deeply known by your husband. I love how my husband, through his own love for me, gives me a small glimpse of the love God has for me. If knowing and experiencing Adam’s beautiful, amazing, and steadfast love for me, God’s love is even more unconditional and perfect. To know means to love. 

God shows you He knows you by sacrificially loving you.

  •  “Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; He is the faithful God, keeping His covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love Him and keep His commandments.” Deuteronomy 7:9
  • God demonstrates His love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
  • Whoever loves God is known by God.” 1 Corinthians 8:3

God calls you to show you know Him by demonstrating your love for Him and loving others. 

  • By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:35
  • Beloved, let us love one another, for love comes from God, and anyone who loves God is born of God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.  This is how God showed His love among us: He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us.” 1 John 4:7-9, 11-12
  • This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out His commands.” 1 John 5:4

God desires for you to know your husband intimately. 

Another version of Genesis 4:1 says, “Adam made love to his wife.” In order to know your husband and to truly be known by him, you have to open yourself up completely and intimately to him, both physically and spiritually.

The ESV version of Genesis 2:24 states, “A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” The phrase “hold fast” is also translated as “cleave,” meaning to adhere closely, cling faithfully, and to split apart from all other ties. You are bound to your husband intimately. As you are called to hold fast to your God, you are also called to hold fast to your husband.

Song of Solomon 6:3 says, “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine; he browses among the lilies.” You are your husband’s and he is yours. He desperately needs your love, respect, and physical body just as you need his. Lilies, as used in this context, is a euphemism for breasts. God specifically designed a woman’s body to be breathtaking and lovely. John and Stacie Eldredge, authors of Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul, even go so far as to say, “a woman’s breasts are among the loveliest of God’s creation.” God designed your body, every part, every contour, and every curve, to be intimately known by your husband.

In Song of Solomon 7:11-13, the wife eagerly invites her husband to come and know her intimately. She says, “Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom—there I will give you my love. The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my beloved.” 

Know and be known by the intimate God of this Universe and your husband, the man He has chosen for you. 


This post is apart of a 4 week series in the CMBA Blog 2014 Words of Wisdom Challenge. This week is words of wisdom from the Bible. Come back next Friday for words of wisdom from friends.


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