Is Your Trash Overflowing? Believing Truth, Part 1b
Lately, I’ve been moody. Very unlike me. Moodiness generally leads to indecisiveness, and indecisiveness to boredom, and boredom back to moodiness for me. It’s a vicious cycle.
I couldn’t figure out why. Things are going well at work. Adam and I’ve been spending lots of quality time together and enjoying ourselves. I’ve been connecting with friends. I’ve clocked hours of writing time for my novel. It is finally feeling like spring. I’ve been more active. So why the blahs?
When I’m moody, I’m like an over-filled trash can. All the junk comes spilling out and I can’t focus on anything else until the mess is cleaned up – until I go to God on my knees.
Lie #2 Your relationship with God has nothing to do with your marriage.
My pastor recently preached a sermon about filling the void. What void? I asked myself as I tuned into listen. He quoted Blaise Pascal who said, “There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator, made known through Jesus.”
A little voice inside me said, “that void.” In my busyness, I’ve been neglecting the number one relationship in my life – Jesus. I find sometimes I get this “moodiness” when I haven’t been spending time with God, almost as if God starts taking away my contentment, satisfaction, and joy in all other things but Him so I come to a point where there’s no other option but Him.
When I start filling my life with activities without putting God first, my marriage suffers. The Holy Spirit kept prompting me to ‘seek God,’ but I kept putting it off saying, “I’ll have time tomorrow.”
Satan wants to convince you that your relationship with God and your relationship with your spouse have nothing to do with each other. But believe the truth, my friend, everything is worthless without love. Your marriage is nothing without the Source of true love – Jesus.
Lack of Spiritual Intimacy, over time, can lead to…
- Unfair expectations
Buckle what is TRUE around your Waist
Your relationship with God has everything to do with your marriage! Just as music can create the atmosphere of a room, your walk with the Lord sets the tone for your marriage.
Proverbs 4:23 warns you to guard your heart, “for everything you do flows from it.” If your heart isn’t centered on God, but rather is centered on your relationships, work, or your stuff, everything you do will motivated by that centering.
T… Teaches Accountability
God has placed an intimate partner in my spiritual walk. When I share my struggles with my spiritual walk with Adam, I feel a burden lifting. The closer I am to God, the more heightened conscience I have. I am aware of my faults and flaws more readily, and my need for God’s (and my husband’s) grace. I am quicker to confess, apologize, and/or ask for help. I relay my doubts, worries, and concerns with my husband, ask for guidance, wisdom, or clarification, and experience love, compassion, and mercy on a deeper level than I can with any other human.
James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”
R… Regulates Emotions
I’m all out of whack without God in the center of my day. I get frustrated and angry more quickly. My decisions are more self-centered. I grow moody, listless, indecisive, and bored. These emotions have a disastrous effect on my marriage, leading to tension, miscommunication, frustration, anger, and arguments.
When I’m centered on God,
- I invite the Holy Spirit to enter my mess, and listen to my husband tell me about his bad day without dumping all my complaints on him first.
- I breathe to calm myself before explaining why I am so upset.
- I let go of my frustrated feelings, recognizing getting angry isn’t going to fix the situation or change anything at the moment, and focus on what I can do right now in love for my husband.
U… Unifies Us
All your decisions, big or small, should begin in prayer, seeking direction from God. Be united in your efforts to work toward what’s best for your marriage and one another. Sometimes this means sacrificing what you really want for the good of your marriage. This could mean something like I want to eat out one more time, but I respect Adam’s decision to cook at home because we’re over budget, or something bigger like Adam quitting his night job and taking a different job so we can be together more.
Romans 14:9 ” Let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding…”
E… Encourages Thanksgiving
When you recognize you can’t do anything on your own, you are more aware of the work of the Father in your life. Recognizing God’s presence is the first step in gratitude – being grateful for the gifts He has given you and being grateful for your spouse. When you forget what God has done for you and what He has given you, you begin to take the people and the things in your life for granted. This leads to lower respect, weaker communication, lower passion, and lesser love in marriage. When you allow the Holy Spirit to permeate your heart, you will grow in gratitude, allowing this joy to outflow into your marriage and to affect your daily decisions.
Ephesians 5:17, 20-21 “…be filled with the Spirit… giving thanks always and for everything in to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for the Lord.”
Fill your life with God first, allowing God to fill your marriage with true good things – accountability, balanced emotions, unity, and thanksgiving.
For more on spiritual intimacy, click here.