30 Dates in November: Are You Ready for Change?
As I’m working on writing my challenges for the month of November, I realized how important it is that you know what you’re getting yourself into and that my intentions are clear. I have a vision for this challenge and what I’d like it to accomplish.
This isn’t just a fun little thing you can do to love on your husband for 30 days and then stop on November 30th, feeling like you’ve accomplished something, walk away, and resume living your normal life. I’m hoping for change – real change.
Kathy Lipp, author of The Husband Project, explains that there may be a small portion of you out there who are totally head-over-heels in love that you still think it’s cute when his laundry doesn’t make it into the basket and instead lays on the floor. There may also be a small portion of you who can’t stand to be in the same room with your husbands, let alone breath the same air. But “then there are the other 94 percent of us,” she writes.
We’re the ones who love our husbands but have fallen into a comfortable routine…we like our husbands, for the most part. And they like us, for the most part. While this is okay, it’s definitely not what we were anticipating as we planned our weddings and dreamed about our happily-ever-after lives.
Like Kathy, I’m writing this challenge for the 94% of us. The ones, she describes as, “who want better relationships with [their] men and are willing to be creative, thoughtful, and possibly daring enough to break out some lingerie to get it.”
But I’m also writing this challenge to those of us who are ready to take our marriages to the next level, whatever that may be for you.
This challenge is designed to stretch you outside your comfort zone, to help you to grow in your walk with the Lord and in your marriage, to get deeper in touch with yourself, and to break free of things that may have been holding you back from a truly great marriage!
Many of my initial challenges are designed to help you get quiet with God and focus on things that have been holding you back. It won’t be pleasant. It may be painful. Don’t let this deter you. That’s the point of a challenge: to challenge yourself.
You may be saying Duh! right now, but I want you to really think about it. Take the challenge seriously. Prepare your heart and mind right now for God to do radical things in your heart, marriage, and life in the next month. If you believe it, He will!
Maybe you’re saying Eek! This isn’t what I wanted.
In order to purposefully and passionately love your man, you need to 1) be right with God, and 2) you need to let go of things that are hindering your marriage.
Again, this isn’t pleasant and it may be painful for some of you.
If you truly want to be refined, you’ve got to go through the fire. If you truly desire change in your heart and marriage, you’ll have to face some hard realities and let go of the things you hold onto with an iron fist.
The purpose of marriage isn’t to make you happy, but to make you holy. That is what sanctification is: the process of making you holy. This is what God does in our marriages – He uses this process to help make us holy, and that process isn’t always easy.
Zechariah 13:9 says, “I will put this third into the fire, and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name, and I will answer them. I will say, ‘They are my people’; and they will say, ‘The Lord is my God.‘”
This might be entirely scary to you. Trust me. I’m terrified. I have no idea where God is going to go with this in my own life, let alone lead you through this challenge. I’d much rather write fun, cutesy challenges like I did last year. But God had a different plan in mind when He put this on my heart. Already He’s done so much work in me (and I’ll share that throughout the month of November).
Remember why God puts us through fire: “so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” (1 Peter 1:7)
You’re not alone! You don’t have to go through this challenge alone. God is saying to you and me, “Take My Hand, and let me walk you through this.”
I’m here too. I’m also setting up weekly checkpoints in November. Each Monday, I’ll have a “Checkpoint” at the top of the post to ask you some questions, to see how you’re doing, to share some of my own experiences, and encourage you to keep going. Please don’t let this stop you from contacting me at any other point during the challenge if you have questions, concerns, frustrations, accomplishments, or anything else you’d like to share or if you need prayer. That’s why I’m here, dear sister, to help you through!
Remember BHE is only the vessel. Bathe this challenge in prayer and ask God to lead you where He wants you to be. Make the challenges your own. Do what works for your marriage and your life.
Don’t be too worried. We will have fun too in the month of November.
Notice I didn’t say this challenge isn’t a fun little thing to do… it isn’t just a fun little thing to do. Yes, I want you to enjoy your experience. God wants you to glorify Him and enjoy Him forever (as the Westminster Catechism says). No, the purpose of marriage is not to make you happy, but holy. However, God does want us to have joy. God wants us to live fully.
- Proverbs 5:18-19 “May you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.“
- Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”
- Proverbs 31:10 “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels…”
I don’t know about you but I want to be a wife my husband can rejoice in. I want to be a wife who is praiseworthy and uplifts my husband’s good name. I want to be a wife who has excellent character and blesses my husband because of it. I want to be a wife who brings joy, comfort, satisfaction, and pleasure to my husband.
How about you?
If you’re still willing to go on this journey with me – pray, pray some more, and keep praying. Pray each piece of the armor of God on yourself every day. Ask God to equip you with the tools and the mindset to embark on a journey to growth, change, pleasure, passion, and purpose. Ask God to make you ready and He will.
Are you with me?
To see other posts in this series, click here.
Share with Us
Does this change the way you’re looking at the challenge? How does this help inspire you? What scares you? What are you hoping this 30-day journey will be for you?