D- Are You Desperate? (&Marriage Moments Mondays linkup)

Editor’s Note: I’ve been MIA lately on BHE. If you haven’t already, catch my series – Awakening the Super in Your Man over on my lovely friend, Bonny’s blog – Pearl’s OysterBed. I’m going to be away at my cousin’s wedding in this week, but I wanted to start giving you some material.


Quietly Desperate
Henry David Thoreau, an American author and poet wrote, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” What are people desperate for? Purpose. They want to know that their life is making a difference in this world. They want to have a direction to head, a passion to pursue. Have you ever felt like this? There’s only one place in the whole world that you can find true purpose—in Christ Jesus and His Word. 

With everything the modern wife has to do and worry about, she may find herself quietly desperate for purpose. She wants to know that what she does matters. I don’t have kids of my own yet, but I certainly struggle sometimes when people ask me what I do. When I tell them I’m a homemaker (and sometimes I throw in blogger), the first question they generally ask is: do you have little ones? No, not yet. Do I want kids? Absolutely. Am I ready? Definitely not.

Most people I know who got married young like my husband and myself had kids within the first two years. My husband and I are choosing to wait. We’ve decided that while I’d love to have another job outside the home, my primary job is at home. Don’t get me wrong, I love taking care of my husband and our house (and our cat), but it is a little depressing when people say, “Is that all you do?” or “You don’t have another job?” or “Why would you stay home if you don’t have kids?”  It’s enough to make a woman quietly desperate for some respect and recognition. Why? Because we’re afraid we don’t matter! 

Passionate Purpose

Would you go out in a canoe without paddles? Would you go into the Sahara Desert without a compass? Would you jump out of a plane without a parachute? No, because it’s dangerous. Think of the Holy Spirit as the paddles, the Bible as the compass, and your relationship with Jesus Christ as your parachute. They are your direction, conscience, and insurance for eternal life. Because God loves His children and wants what’s best for them, He wants them to be prepared for all of life. Psalm 138:8 says, “The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.”

God is the one who gives us purpose. A husband, a home, kids, a job, pets, friends, family – none of it will ever completely satisfy and fulfill you. Your fulfillment is found in your relationship with Jesus Christ. This is definitely something I have to constantly remind myself when people look down on me because I choose to stay at home and bless my husband (without little ones around). They may not understand, but God understands. He sees what I do and He has purpose for me. Choosing to take care of a home (and little ones, if you have them) is admirable and highly valuable. There is no greater purpose than to passionately serve God and secondly there is no greater calling for a woman than to wholeheartedly love and serve her spouse.

But God must come first! He has to be first in your life before your husband, before you home, before your kids, before your family and friends, before your job! Until you are desperate for God, you’ll be desperate for something to fill the void. Everything without God is meaningless. When I’m off with God, I’m off with my husband. No ifs, ands, or buts. My relationship with the Lord has to take first priority, otherwise, I’m desperately seeking the attention and love of an imperfect man who cannot fulfill all my worth, purpose, desires, and dreams. This is what Jesus means when He says first, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength,” then He says, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Thirst for the Living God 

That you have no worth, no purpose, that what you do doesn’t matter, that you are stupid, ugly, unloved… these are all lies from the Enemy of this world – the Devil.

Jesus says in John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life abundant.

When your relationship with your spouse is off, when you’re depressed, feeling worthless, feeling purposeless, feeling like you’re going through the motions, when you’re tempted to believe the lies of the Enemy, desperately seek after God – who created You, sees you, loves you! 

“As the deer pants for streams of water,so my soul pants for You, my God.  My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? My tears have been my food, day and night, while people say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go to the house of God under the protection of the Mighty One with shouts of joy and praise among the festive throng. Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God. My soul is downcast within me: therefore I will remember You from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to deep in the roar of Your waterfalls; all Your waves and breakers have swept over me. By day the Lord directs his love, at night His song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life. I say to God my Rock, “Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?” My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me,saying to me all day long, “Where is your God?”Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” Psalm 42

meet me for a cup of coffeeMeet Me for a Cup of Coffee 

I love meeting with other believers and friends in the faith over coffee. So instead of “Your Turn,” I’m bringing back a modified old idea. this new idea. This section will include a live & grow challenge and questions for you to ponder. I’d love for you to join me in “sweet fellowship” and hear your thoughts, questions, prayer requests, and praise Lord our God together!

Live and Grow
What is one thing in life you are desperate for?

Perhaps it is money or love. Maybe you want to be noticed, appreciated, and cared for. Maybe you want more money to afford niceties in life or just to pay the bills. Maybe it’s control or power. Maybe you want the power to speak up on an issue that haunts you. Maybe you want to control the details of your life.

This week, write it down on a piece of paper. Does it glorify God? Are you fearing God in your desperation? Chances are, you probably aren’t, and you’ve been elevating this “desperation” to an idol without fully realizing it. Wad up this piece of paper and throw it in the trash. Go on! Do it! Spend time this week, earnestly seeking God in prayer. Allow Him to work in your life and to teach you about Himself.

Confide in your spouse, a strong Christian lady friend, or mentor about this thing you’ve been desperate for. Take time to pray together and ask him/her to hold you accountable. Ask God to make you desperate for Him!

Share With Us 

What verses in the Bible comfort you when you’re feeling depressed, confused, frustrated, unappreciated, etc? How do you & your spouse strive to put God first in your marriage/home/life?  



  1. “With everything the modern wife has to do and worry about, she may find herself quietly desperate for purpose.” This is so true

    • Thank you for visiting Evelyn! Seek purpose in God!

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