15 More Ways to Encourage Your Husband, Part 2
Make your house and your heart a home-base for your husband – a place he can always count on to be one of encouragement. This week, pick 1 of the following ways to encourage your husband for each day, or pick 1 and work on it all week, not because I say you should, but because your husband deserves it and he needs your unconditional support, care, and love! Or go back and work through last week’s 15 suggestions.
16) Praise your husband when he does a job well. Praise him for everything from getting that hard-to-reach item off the top shelf to getting a promotion at work. I’m a big believer in celebrating the little AND the big things. Celebrate his good character, his physical strength and stamina, his work ethic, and his awesome top-shelf reaching skills!
“…encourage one another and build one another up…” 1 Thessalonians 5:11
17) Seek your husband’s advice. Ask his help if you’re struggling with something in your spiritual life, your friendships, your workplace, etc. Include him in your decision-making process. Ask him to pray for you. In doing so, it shows you are confident in his decision-making skills, his wisdom, and his counsel, and it shows you respect his opinions.
I hear many women complain about their husbands’ not being good-enough spiritual leaders. God created Eve with communication skills for a reason! Your husband is NOT a mind reader. You need to communicate your needs/desires to him. Let him know explicitly when you need his help. Let him know specifically when you need his spiritual advice and input. Let him know immediately when you need him to pray. My husband is always eager to help/advise/pray with me, and his enthusiasm and wisdom always makes me so glad I asked.
“Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.” Proverbs 19:20
See also Tami Myer’s guest post, Desperate to Be Led for more good advice on this subject. What if your husband gives me un-biblical advice? April over at The Peaceful Wife wrote a great post on this subject.
18) Be grateful for his input. Sometimes I just want him to listen to me, but he tries to advise anyway. Instead of being frustrated, thank him for his help. Your husband is hardwired to “fix” problems, and while you may not have wanted his advice, be grateful anyway. If you feel like you can’t be receptive at that moment for whatever reason, kindly and politely tell him you need some space and time, but tell him thanks for trying to help, and plan to come back and revisit the subject later.
“…always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Ephesians 5:20
19) Protect his good name. Speak respectfully about him to others (his family, friends, co-workers, church family, your kids, neighbors, strangers, etc). Speak about him in a way you’d want him to speak about you.
I remember one time my husband was playing an online game with some guys and I interrupted him because I needed something. After I started to walk away, and when he probably thought I was out of earshot, I heard one of the guys say, “Whipped!” And I won’t ever forget Adam’s response: “No. Loved!” This is how I want to speak about him to others. Build him up with your words; don’t tear him down.
“A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.” Proverbs 22:1
20) Communicate respectfully to him.
Watch your tone of voice, eye contact, and posture. Don’t ever pick an argument with him in public. (and yes, for the record, I have done this, embarrassingly so.) If you have a disagreement, wait until the appropriate time and place. Make every effort to be peaceable and work toward unity, not disunity and dissension. You aren’t always right. Be willing to admit when you’re wrong. Learn to fight fairly and smartly if you must fight at all, as some fights just can’t be avoided. But you can still speak respectfully to him.
“Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.” Proverbs 17:4
“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26
21) Give him your undivided attention.
Don’t interrupt. Listen. Yes, I know, us women, we love to gab, but your husband needs you to listen to him too. My husband isn’t always one to open up and talk about deep issues readily, so when he does, I make every effort to give him my full attention.
Don’t cut him off mid-sentence and interject your own thoughts. Don’t start formulating your answers in your head before he’s done talking (guilty of doing that before right here). Don’t keep multitasking. Set down your distractions. Look at him. And listen non-judgmentally and lovingly. To show you’re actively listening, repeat back to him in your own words what he said, and ask probing questions.
Wife: How was your day?
Wife: How so?
Husband: It was just way more challenging than I expected at my work meeting.
Wife: What happened at your work meeting that made it so challenging?
You get the picture!
“…let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak…” James 1:19
“If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.” Proverbs 18:23
22) Resist the urge to nag and correct him.
Your husband is not 2 years old. He doesn’t need you to mother him. He needs you to respect him, and respect his decisions, even if you don’t approve. This means honoring his wishes, not complaining once a decision has been made, and resisting the urge to correct him or say “I told you so” if his decision turns out to have negative consequences. You are not your husband’s Holy Spirit. It is not your job to correct every little mistake or perceived error on your husband’s part.
“Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.” Proverbs 21:19
“You will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.” Genesis 3:16
Confess your sins to your husband so you can hold each other accountable. Let your husband know what you’re doing and where you’re going. Talk about finances together, and be open about your money if you have your own separate income.
“A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.” Proverbs 12:4
24) Let him know “why” you respect him…
…and remind him why you married him… often!
“Why did you marry me? So I can kiss you anytime I want.” ~Sweet Home Alabama
25) Thank him for the work he does.
Thank him for being a good provider. If he’s out of work or unable to work, find a quality you admire – his determination in looking for work, his strength, his perseverance, his wise financial decisions to help you budget better, etc – or find something he does around the house – does he work hard at being a good dad? maintaining the yard? fixing the car? etc. Praise him for it!
“What do workers gain from their toil?… I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.” Ecclesiastes 3:9, 12, 13
26) Praise him for a spiritual strength he has…
…reading his Bible regularly, praying with you and the family, his eagerness to go to church, etc. I especially admire how my husband’s love always points me back to God and makes me want to know God more.
Paul writes in Romans 1:11-12, “I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong— that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.”
Can you imagine if wives actually did that for their husbands? We’d have lots of changed marriages.
27) Dare to dream with your husband, and affirm his dreams for the future.
Ngina over at Intentional Today writes about this in her post: A Great Marriage Taps into Dreams, not Just Needs.
28) Enjoy being with your husband.
Cherish the moments you have together. Regularly take time out of your busy life for him.
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22
29) Find something you love about your husband’s body – his rugged chin, his loving eyes, his big smile – and let him know by touching this spot and saying why you love it. I particularly like my husband’s facial hair because it makes him look more handsome in my opinion, and it feels nice and soft against my face.
“…he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, this is my friend.” Song of Solomon 5:16
30) Praise him for his faithfulness!
“…a faithful man will have many good things…” Proverbs 28:20
Your turn? Which one of these ideas was a new concept to you? Which ones do you think you’ll pick this week? How did you do with last week’s encouragement?
Linking Up With:
- Posted in: Communication Tips & Techniques ♦ Conflict Resolution ♦ Encouragement ♦ Fruits of the Spirit ♦ Protecting Your Marriage ♦ Real Marriage ♦ Respect ♦ Special Events and Holidays
- Tagged: Admiration, Communication Tips & Techniques, Encouragement, Kindness, Patience, Peace, Proverbs 31 Woman, Reader Questions