15 Ways to Encourage Your Husband, Part 1

You have to work with your husband, not against him.

You have to work with your husband, not against him.

I often hear the phrase “encourage your husband” and I, myself, even say it. But what does it mean? What does “encouraging your husband” look like lived out?

Dictionary.com defines encourage as this: “to inspire with courage, spirit, or confidence; to stimulate with assistance, approval, etc; to promote, advance, or foster.”

This is one of your primary roles as your husband’s ezer kenegdo: his helpmeet, or a better defined role – sustainer beside him.

God has a sense of humor, or at least His timing is impeccable. In the last few days, I’ve overburdened my husband, snapped at him, gotten angry easily, been irritable, and refused his love. I’m weak, my dear readers. I fail. I haven’t been an encouragement to my husband lately, and here I expect you to read this and take my advice when I can’t even take my own. Lord, help and forgive me!

Your home cannot be a place of peace and unity if you are angry, frustrated, or embittered often. Your love will be squelched  if you tear your husband down. Your marriage cannot thrive if you don’t actively and intentionally seek to sustain your husband. Your house and your heart is your husband’s home base – a place where he can rest secure in his wife’s respect for him, where he is welcomed graciously, cared for tenderly , supported indefinitely, and loved unconditionally. Your husband’s heart is precious, and you can strengthen him through your unwavering love. Your husband’s heart needs protected and treasured, and you can uplift him by encouraging him daily. You have to work with him, not against him.

My prayer is that you actively seek to encourage your husband today and always, not just because I’m recommending you do, but because he deserves it!  My prayer is that you don’t just take my word for it, that these are good ideas, but that you take the time to look up the Scriptures, and listen to God’s truth.

1) Pray for your husband regularly. Prayer brings relief for stress in your marriage and great emotional, spiritual, and even physical healing.

“…pray for one another, that you may be healed.The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” James 5:16

2) Tell him you love him daily. Tell him in the morning. Tell him when he’s stepping out of the shower. Tell him when he leaves for work. Tell him when you talk on the phone and before you hang up. Tell him when he arrives home. Tell him in front of others. Tell him before you go to sleep.

3) Be a good friend to your husband.

“There is no more lovely, friendly or charming relationship, communion or company, that a good marriage.”  ~ Martin Luther

4) Let your husband know you’re available sexually.

Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.” Song of Solomon 4:16

5) Let him know he’s sexy and desired. Let him know you can’t wait for bed tonight! ;o) 

How handsome you are, my beloved! Oh how charming! And our bed is verdant.” Song of Solomon 1:16

6) Embrace often. 

…a time to embrace.” Ecclesiastes 3:5

Love is not measured by how many times you touch each other, but by how many times you reach each other.” ~ Cathy Morancy

7) Kiss often. 

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine.” Song of Solomon 1:2

8) Make love often. 

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

“Sexual expression within a marriage is not an option or an extra. It is certainly not, as it has sometimes been considered, a necessary evil in which spiritual Christians engage only to procreate children. It is far more than a physical act. God created it to be the expression an experience of love on the deepest human level and to be a beautiful and powerful bond between husband and wife.” ~ John MacArthur 

9) Let him catch you gazing upon him often. 

You have stolen my heart, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes…” Song of Solomon 4:9

10) Tell him you’re proud of him. You’re proud of his character, his decisions, his ethics, etc.

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” Ephesians 4:29

11) Share your husband’s godly values. Listen to your husband’s godly wisdom, knowledge, understanding, and experience. 

By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; and by knowledge the rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.” Proverbs 24:3-4 

12) Cheer him up when he’s sad, sick, or frustrated. 

Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” Proverbs 12:25

13) Surprise him! Sneak up behind him and plant a kiss on him when he’s not expecting. Be waiting in the bedroom undressed under the covers while he’s brushing his teeth. Purchase a little gift for him. Plan a surprise getaway. Be creative. 

A joyful heart is good medicine…” Proverbs 17:22

14) Enjoy his company. Regularly take time out of your busy schedule and just enjoy being with him. Have fun! Laugh. Dance. 

…a time to laugh… a time to dance…” Ecclesiastes 3:4

15) Admire him. “Selflessly gush about your man,” as Courtney from Women Living Well recommends. 

Courtney also suggests taking this pop quiz: “List all the flaws of your husband.List all the things that you admire about your husband. Grade yourself: Which question was easier to answer?”  

In marriage, each partner is to be an encourager rather than a critic, a forgiver rather than a collector of hurts, an enabler rather than a reformer.
~H. Norman Wright and Gary J. Oliver

Your Turn? What do you admire about your husband? How else do you encourage your husband? 

Come back next Wednesday to see Part 2, 15 More Ways to Encourage Your Husband! 

Linking Up With:

"Messy Marriage: Real. Raw. Redemptive."

“Messy Marriage: Real. Raw. Redemptive.”

"To Love, Honor, and Vacuum...when you feel more like a maid than a wife and a mother."

“To Love, Honor, and Vacuum…when you feel more like a maid than a wife and a mother.”

Simply Helping Him

Whenever I have a post, I add it here. Check out my entries under Spiritual, Meditation, and Religion, and Family, Parenting, and Marriage.

Whenever I have a post, I add it here. Check out my entries under Spiritual, Meditation, and Religion, and Family, Parenting, and Marriage.

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10 Comments

  1. SpiritDee

    Reblogged this on It's not just words and commented:
    Loved this post, practical too.

    • Thank you for visiting the BHE community. I’m glad you found this post practically helpful. Blessings.

  2. Beth said it-Lots of great challenges here. It’s easy to tell which to concentrate on for me: anytime my heart gets zapped, it’s a message that area needs my attention. I especially love your prompt on the quiz: which area is easier to fill out? Awareness: an important component of growth, but not always pleasant!

    • Thanks for visiting. Awareness is such a key component to loving our husbands, but you’re right, it’s not always fun to be confronted with our weaknesses and sin. Thank the Lord for His grace!

  3. You have so many great challenges here, Hannah. I’m working on being more intentional in all of the ways I show love to my husband and you’ve given me some great places to start. I also love the many quotes you’ve shared, as well, and especially this one, “In marriage, each partner is to be an encourager rather than a critic, a forgiver rather than a collector of hurts, an enabler rather than a reformer.“ ~H. Norman Wright and Gary J. Oliver

    Thanks so much for an inspiring post and for linking it up with Wedded Wed, my friend! Always a pleasure to visit your place! :)

    • May God continue to bless you with encouraging words, a kind heart, and creativity in your marriage, challenging you to love your husband the way He loves your husband. Thanks for visiting, Beth! It’s always a pleasure reading your comments and linking up with Wedded Wednesdays.

    • Thanks, Beth, for sharing and visiting. Intentionality is a great place to start, because without being intentional, none of the above challenges work well, and die off. Praise God for your recognition of this and may He continue to equip you to intentionally love and encourage your husband.

      P.S. I like that quote too!

Trackbacks

  1. Welcoming a New Year: Looking Back, Pt. 1 | Becoming His Eve
  2. Appreciating Your Man, Day 13 | Becoming His Eve
  3. 15 More Ways to Encourage Your Husband, Part 2 | Becoming His Eve

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