When’s the Last Time You Wrote a Love Letter?
I remember back in the early days of dating how many flowery text messages I’d send my boyfriend (now husband) nightly just before going to bed to make sure he knew just how much I loved and appreciated him. I remember picking up 99 cent greeting cards from the college pharmacy and penning my heart on a page to give to Adam when we’d be away from each other for a weekend, holiday, or school break. I remember the time I’d spend writing poetical musings on pretty stationary, pouring out my time, energy, and love for the man I was going to marry.
Now? I’m married. We share a bed and a home, finances, responsibilities, and love letters, elaborate text messages, and lover’s poems aren’t penned as frequently… if only on special occasions. I greatly admire those couples in history who wrote hundreds, if not thousands, of love letters to one another like John and Abigail Adams and Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Robert Browning. But in my world, my husband is not a writer by default and I just don’t have the time in my busy, busy schedule to put pen to paper regularly.
However, I think there’s something wonderful, beautiful, and magical about putting your love on the page for your husband. Did you know this first week in March is National Write a Letter of Appreciation Week – an entire week dedicated to writing letters to those people we appreciate? When I think of all the people I appreciate, the list is incredibly long, but when I realize who I appreciate the most – the list is brief. Who better to write a letter of appreciation to than your spouse?
You don’t have to be a dedicated blogger, an accomplished poet, or a published author to write a letter of appreciation. And you certainly don’t have to be fancy, elaborate, or flowery. So what if it doesn’t sound perfect? Your husband (or wife) will most appreciate you… being you… and your thoughts should come from the heart.
To appreciate, as defined by Dictionary.com, means “to be grateful or thankful for; to value or regard highly; to raise in value; and to be fully conscious of.”
This week, take the time to write a letter of appreciation to your spouse. Now if the idea of writing a love letter to your husband causes panic, don’t worry. Here’s a list of inspiration to springboard from…
How to Be More Appreciative of Your Spouse
- What physical qualities and features do you admire in your husband? Do you love to get lost in his baby blues? Do you like how his hair feels after he showers? Do you enjoy snuggling with him, curled up under his muscular arms? Tell him!
- How does your husband help uplift you emotionally? Do his kind words make you swoon? Does his taking initiative to do household chores on his day off encourage you? When he brings home a special little gift, does it warm your heart? Perhaps he affirms you in front of his friends by speaking positively about you. Tell him how much you appreciate these things!
- How does your husband stimulate you intellectually? Does he engage in long, meaningful conversations with you? Does he challenge you in your walk with God? Do you enjoy doing the crossword puzzle together on Saturday mornings? Affirm him by letting him know how he challenges you, and how he gets you to think deep!
- How about letting your husband know what you appreciate about him sexually or how he makes you feel when you’re enjoying the marriage bed? This one is pretty self-explanatory… I’ll let your imagination wander here.
- What is your husband doing well spiritually? Did you like how he remembered to pray with the kids before bed last night without you reminding him? Did he ask you about your walk with God today? Perhaps he initiated a conversation about spiritual things with you recently. Or maybe he simply squeezed your hand when singing worship songs at church. This is an area that many married men struggle with, but one of the ways you can encourage him as the spiritual leader of your home is to let him know what he’s doing right and praise him for it, instead of dwelling on what he’s not doing.
Presenting Your Appreciation
1. Use his name as an acronym to write down character qualities you admire in him. For example, my husband Adam is
- A- available (I love how he makes time for me, and although he may not be ready right away, he comes to find me when he can give me his full attention).
- D- dependable (I love how I can rely on him to provide for me, protect me, and be a trustworthy man of God).
- A- authentic (I love how honest and real his is. What you see is what you get and that’s refreshing).
- M- manly (I love his distinct masculine personality and appearance).
2. Make a list of things you are thankful for regarding your husband.
Think about your physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and sexual needs. How does your husband help fulfill these?
- I am thankful that Adam has found us a place to live, and works hard to keep a roof over my head, running water in our bathroom, heat and electricity, and food in my stomach.
- I am thankful that Adam is always willing to work through difficulties, is quick to forgive, and incredibly patient with me.
- I am thankful for Adam’s intelligence and wisdom, and how he is an interesting person to have conversations with.
- I am thankful that Adam seeks the Lord, how he is prayerful, how he spends time in God’s Word, and encourages me to do so also.
- I am thankful for how Adam meets my needs sexually in our marriage bed, making me feel special and free to be naked and unashamed.
3. Recall a special memory you two have and write your husband a letter remembering that special moment.
It could be from your wedding day, an anniversary, a birthday, a particularly memorable date, or just a time when he made you feel very special.
4. Use the letters of the alphabet to write a letter of appreciation.
- A – I appreciate Adam for who he is.
- B – I appreciate Adam’s body and sensuality.
- C – I appreciate Adam’s Christian walk – and how real he is about where he stands with the Lord.
- D – I appreciate Adam’s diligence in working hard to provide for us.
- E – I appreciate Adam’s enthusiasm for being with me.
5. Use numbered lists.
- I appreciate how we are one united!
- I appreciate how often the two become one flesh.
- I appreciate our relationship with God – us three – God, you, and me!
- I appreciate how four-ward thinking you are, planning for our future.
6. Use Scripture for inspiration.
Sometimes flipping through Song of Songs really makes me appreciate my husband more and opens me up to be more aware of just what I love about his physicality, his masculinity, and his sexuality. If I come across a particular Bible verse in my personal devotions that I feel would encourage his heart, I shoot him a text with that verse during the day and tell him one reason why I appreciate him based on the context of that verse. Take a look at 1 Corinthians 13 or the Fruits of the Spirit and incorporate them into your letter of appreciation. The sky’s the limit with the Bible – it’s God-breathed and inspiring!
Places to Put the Letter
- through the mail (if you want to take the time) Although Valentine’s Day is past, this is a fun tradition in Loveland, Colorado. Maybe keep this in mind for next year?
- in his lunchbox or bag
- attached to his coffee cup or thermos or on his coffee cup
- in his shoes
- on the bathroom mirror
- on the toilet seat
- on the shower wall
- on or under his pillow
- in his sock drawer
- by a light switch
- on the wall
- on a deck of cards
- in his briefcase or laptop case
- stuck to his cell phone (via post-it)
- on his steering wheel
- on the dashboard of his car
- in the glove box
- on the refrigerator
- on his clothes hanging in the closet
- on his computer screen or keyboard
- on the background of his computer screen
- on his dinner plate or under his water glass
- attached to a small gift for him
- in a box, inside a box, inside a box, inside a box
- on or in his Bible
- on or in a book he’s reading
- on a butcher paper roll down your front hallway for when he walks in
- on the stairs
- in the backyard or written in chalk on the driveway
- on a banner across your garage when he drives up
Consider keeping a notebook or journal for the two of you to write letters back and forth, a word of appreciation, a Bible verse to encourage, or just a random thought that pops into your head during the day that makes you happy you’re married. I kept a journal like this while Adam and I were engaged and gave it to him as a wedding present, but you could do this for a birthday or anniversary or just because.
Happy creative juices!
:o) Adam’s Eve
Good Clicks for More Letter-Writing Suggestions:
1. Love Song Letter from The Romantic Vineyard
2. How to Write a Love Letter from Hot, Holy, and Humorous
3. How to Write a Love Letter that Will Make Your Spouse’s Heart Sing from One Extraordinary Marriage
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