Lather on the Love & Last Minute Valentine’s Ideas

Why not lather some verbal love on your husband today?

speaking kindly

A- Be aware! 

Show by knowing when to open your mouth and when to stay silent. Choosing to tell your husband that the light bulb above the kitchen table needs replaced or letting him know you’re frustrated with your sex life when he’s paying bills or playing a video game isn’t the best time. In fact, it will likely make him frustrated and less incline to love you the way he should. Dumping  a mountain load of chores on him or spilling every little detail about what went wrong in your life today when he first comes through the door isn’t wise either. Criticizing him for forgetting to do something when you’re out with friends is just mean.

  • Find an appropriate time and place to talk to him about big issues, chores, and your daily struggles.
  • Find a respectful way to interrupt him and tell him something is important. Be aware of what needs to be spoken of immediately and what can wisely wait for another time.

E- Be encouraging! 

Promote intimacy in your marriage by keeping a watch on your words. If what you’re going to say isn’t edifying and won’t help you grow in your marriage, don’t say it. When your husband is struggling with something, feeling down on himself, or feels ill, encourage him!

  • Send him text messages throughout the day letting him know how much you believe in him, how you can’t wait to see him later that evening, and how you enjoy spending time with him.
  • Let him know that you’re proud of him for seeking help or accountability when he needed it or that you’re proud of him for staying committed to ethics in the church or the workplace.
  • Tell him you still love him even when he fails.
  • Give him comfort and sympathy when something didn’t go well at work.
  • Tend to him when he is ill or injured.
  • Give him some extra-special loving when he’s got the blues.

I – Be inclusive.

Remember the Golden Rule? You want to be included in your husband’s life? Then include him in yours.

  • If you have inside jokes with your friends or family, be sure to let your husband in on them. Make him feel welcome and comfortable when he’s with your friends/family.
  • Ask for his advice, guidance, wisdom, and opinion when you’re making decisions.
  • Talk to him about your interests and pursuits.
  • Set aside regular time to discuss life goals, dreams, responsibilities, beliefs, fears, worries, concerns, and ideas.

O- Be open. 

Don’t just bottle up your frustrations, the things that make you angry, the issues you feel surfacing between you two. Show your husband love by being honest and open with your feelings and your desires.

  • Respectfully let him know what you want in the marriage bed. Preferably don’t do this during the sex act itself, but pick a time when you can both be objective (and are well-rested). If you do experience pain or feel uncomfortable with something though, don’t be afraid to speak up.
  • Be open to conflict. I know that sounds counter intuitive, but don’t avoid conflict just to keep the peace. If you have a genuine concern and have taken time to search your own heart and come before God in prayer first, don’t hide from discussing things with your spouse, or confronting him if need be.
  • Be open to your husband’s interests. Don’t be afraid to try new things, or to give things he loves a chance.

U – Be uplifting. 

What’s the difference between uplifting and encouraging? defines encourage as “to inspire with courage, spirit, or confidence.” To uplift is “to exalt emotionally or spiritually.” Our words can spark a forest fire of destruction or can offer the balm of healing. Be kind with your words, striving to leave all negativity aside.  Be his personal cheerleader.

  • Show love by supporting your husband in his pursuits, interests, and work.
  • Let him know when he’s doing a good job around the house, as a husband, as a father, as a friend, as a leader, and at work.
  • Praise him when he’s on top of his game in the marital bed, and let him know just what feels so good.

Today is Valentine’s Day. For many of you, you’ve been looking forward to this day with great anticipation. For others, you may have blanked and now you’re wondering if everything is ruined. Don’t panic! Here are some great Valentine’s Day posts from around the wonderful World Wide Web and fellow CMBA-er’s with some great V-Day ideas. These are in no particular order:

1. A Valentine’s Day He’ll Love from To Love, Honor, and Vacuum

2. A Nurturing Love from Simply Helping Him

3. Budget-Friendly Ideas for Him for Valentine’s Day from The Alabaster Jar

4. 7 Simple Ways to Depressurize Valentine’s Day for Low Libido Wives from Pearl’s OysterBed

5. What to Get Your Husband for V-Day from Hot, Holy, and Humorous

6. 20 Ways to Love Your Husband from Abiding Woman

7. Time for Romance? You’ve Got to Be Kidding Me? guest post by Scott Means on Hope at Home.

8. Man Up Monday: Make a Valentine’s Plan from Journey to Surrender

9. Wives Only Wednesdays: Turn This Valentine’s Day Around from Journey to Surrender

10. Valentine’s Day Expectations from Peaceful Wife

11. 14 Ways to Bless Your Spouse This Valentine’s Day from The Romantic Vineyard

Other V-Day ideas on my Pinterest boards: Be Mine Valentine, Love Your Honey, Gifts for Him, Gifts for Her, and Date Night.



  1. Great post! Love the vowels acronym.


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