I Am My Husband’s Lover, Day 11

Today’s Get Real Valentine challenge is “give the gift of yourself.” 

groom kissing bride

Last night, my husband and I were having a conversation about sex. We were talking about how great it was that we were able to please each other sexually, and then my husband said five little words, “I’m glad you’re my lover!”

The realization hit me like a ton of bricks – I’m not just my husband’s wife – I am my husband’s lover!

This is not something I’m ashamed of, feel I have to hide, or don’t want to claim proudly. I want everyone to know how much I love my husband, and that we have a fantastic sex life, but it’s more than that; we share a deep, emotional, spiritual, and physical union that touches the deepest, darkest parts of ourselves, and we share it frequently and unreservedly with one another. We don’t hold back! We have built a safe haven of unconditional love, unswerving devotion, absolute trust, and beautiful ecstasy in our bedroom to support and uphold our commitment to regular, pleasurable, passionate intimacy.

Protecting Your Marriage Bed

1. Maintain an intimate relationship with God. Your husband may satisfy you, but only God can fulfill every one of your needs. When your heart is right with God, your heart is in the right place to please your husband and to be known fully and intimately.

2. Pray, pray, pray! Pray protection onto your marriage against the lies and trickery of the Devil. Pray for passion to be unleashed, and pleasure to be realized regularly. There’s nothing sacrilegious about praying about married sex.

3. If you have any doubt, fear, shame, guilt, or pain, share it with your husband. Let him know what you’re struggling with so that you two can battle it together.

4. Abandon anything that might cause you to stumble! If this means you stop watching racy R-rated movies and reading romance novels, do it! You create your own exciting sex life, and anything you and your husband come up with in the bedroom is 10 times better than any Hollywood script could ever pen to page. If this means you stop hanging out with certain friends because they’re causing tension in your marriage, do it! Your husband has to come first before all others.

5. Surround yourself with sex-positive friends who will affirm your marriage. It’s okay to talk about sex in the Church. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to share that you and your husband have a hot sex life! (Now this doesn’t mean share every single detail about your romps between the sheets, but who cares if the world knows that you’re happy with your bed-mate – and you happen to be married to him? In fact, more people need to know that godly married couples have healthy, frequent, loving, passionate sex and that’s the way God designed it to be!)

Becoming Your Husband’s Lover

Give of yourself absolutely! Show your husband love by allowing him and inviting him into enjoy your beauty. Give without reservations of your time, energy, heart, and body. Be open with your husband and share the deepest parts of yourself with him – the places no one else sees. Love your husband in the most intimate way possible – with all of yourself.

1 Corinthians 7:3 says, “The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality – the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband.” 

Embrace often. Show your husband love by giving him hugs and kisses regularly. Plant one on him in public. Come up behind him and hug him unexpectedly. Greet him with a hug and kiss when he arrives home. But don’t just embrace physically. Embrace one another emotionally – share your home and heart. Open up about concerns, struggles, fears, worries, ambitions, dreams, achievements, questions, beliefs, joys, pain, pleasure, etc.

Song of Solomon 2:6 says, “His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me.” 

Initiate! Show your husband love by being the first one to make a move. Your husband will love you for it!  You give your husband confidence and build him up when you let him know you desire him, you want him to enjoy your beauty, and you want him to join with you. Captivate him confidently!

Song of Solomon 4:16 says, “Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.” 

Offer your hands. Show your husband love by holding hands. Hold hands when you’re walking places. Take his hand when you’re in the grocery store or drug store. When the pastor prays in church or when you’re praying at home, reach over and take your husband’s hands. When you’re sitting next to each other, put your hand around his neck. There’s something so sweetly intimate about holding hands, something that transcends the physical and says, “I am here with you and for you no matter what.”

Song of Solomon 6:3 says, “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” 

Unleash holy intimacy! Show your husband love by being physically intimate regularly and passionately, without holding back. This is so crucial for a marriage for building closeness, creating unity, and experiencing beautiful pleasure and passion. There’s nothing dirty or wrong about married sex, married sex is not just a duty to fulfill, and just because you’re a godly married couple doesn’t mean sex isn’t fun. In fact, married sex is holy, honorable, and beautiful – drawing each partner into a deeper physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual communion with each other.

Song of Songs calls married sex…


Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love  is more delightful than wine.” Song of Songs 1:2

I delight  to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste.” Song of Songs 2:3

How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!” Song of Songs 4:10

How beautiful you are and how pleasing, my love, with your delights!” Song of Songs 7:6


Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out.” Song of Songs 1:3

“ How much more pleasing is your love than wine...” Song of Songs 4:10


Listen! My beloved! Look! Here he comes, leaping across the mountains, bounding over the hills.” Song of Songs 2:8


My beloved spoke and said to me, ‘Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come away with me.’” Song of Songs 2:10

…an intimate gift! 

You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride; you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain.” Song of Songs 4:12

Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.” Song of Songs 4:16

I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me.” Song of Songs 7:10

Extend the invitation to your spouse today – to holy intimacy, and get ready to rock his world in the bedroom!

Song of Solomon 2:10-13 says, “My beloved spoke and said to me, ‘Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come away with me. See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth, and the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land. The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. Arise, come, my darling, my beautiful one, come away with me.”

Linked Up with: maritalonenessmondays Jolene Engle The Alabaster Jar



  1. Awesome post, love it!

    • Thanks for the high compliment.

  2. How perfect; those five little words.


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