Go Ahead! Be “That” Couple! 14 Things to Do In and Out of Bed with Your Husband, Day 5

flirting couple

Today’s Get Real Valentine challenge is physical affection! 

No marriage can thrive without physical affection.

George Clerie writes in 6 Powerful Tips to Make Your Marriage Thrive, “Think of your relationship as having an affection account. We need to deposit into that account every day.

Even the smallest things can make a difference in a marriage.

How can you deposit “affection” into your husband’s account today?

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth – for your love is more delightful than wine.” Song of Songs 1:2 (NIV)

And you, my dear lover—you’re so handsome!And the bed we share is like a forest glen.” Song of Songs 1:16 (MSG)

“You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride;you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes…” Song of Songs 4:9 (NIV)

14 Things to Do In and Out of Bed with Your Husband 

  1. Let your husband know when sex is pleasurable… during sex. “Ooo’s” and “ahh’s” are greatly appreciated. Show him where you want his hands, his lips, his groin, etc, and then reinforce what he’s doing well by vocalizing your delight.
  2. Let your husband know when sex is pleasurable… after sex. Men need positive reinforcement.  They need to know what they’re doing right. Good sex can become Great sex when you tell him!
  3. Remind your husband of how great sex was the last time you did it… and do it often! Send him a text or email at work (on a phone/computer no one else will see preferably). Slip a note into his lunchbox, briefcase, car, etc. Write him a note on the bathroom mirror (use a code phrase if you have kiddos or you share a bathroom). Let him know over a meal by sharing knowing, flirtatious looks.
  4. Find a way to let your husband know when you want him…and you’re in public. There’s something about desiring the forbidden that really turns guys (and sometimes gals) on. You whisper in his ear, squeeze a body part, or use a secret shared code phrase when driving in the car, shopping together, at a restaurant or a friend’s house, etc.  (*Important Side Note: Don’t let on that you want sex when you can’t or won’t follow through, barring extreme circumstances. Guys hate it when we women do that!)
  5. Love on your husband in public. Hug him randomly for no other reason except that you love him. Slap his butt gently. Pull him close for a passionate kiss out of the blue >> I particularly like doing this in parking lots! ;o)
  6. Flirt. Often.
  7. Appeal to your husband’s visual side. Wear something sexy. Often. Or better yet, wear nothing at all when he’s not expecting it and wait for his reaction.
  8. Surprise your husband by initiating sex every once in awhile. He’ll appreciate it. Trust me.
  9. Appreciate your man’s physicality. Stop for a moment sometime and just admire him whether he’s getting out of the shower or fixing something around the house, whether he’s climbing into bed for the night or he’s getting out of bed in the morning. Allow your eyes to linger and savor the moment. I heard it said once by Mark Driscoll, pastor of the Mars Hill Church, that your ideal beauty and level of attraction is measured by your spouse and your spouse only. This means that even if hubby has put on some weight recently, even if he’s got an overbite or a gap between his teeth, even if he has to wear glasses (which I personally adore my husband in glasses), he’s the most attractive man in your life… period.
  10. Indulge your honey and give him a sensual massage. You might need to hop in the shower afterward if things get “too hot.”
  11. Set the alarm clock a little earlier and enjoy wake-up sex. Don’t stress about the day and think about the million and one things you have to do. Just let loose and give it your full effort.
  12. Make out. Remember when you were so in love you couldn’t get enough of each other? Settle in for some lip-locking action. Just don’t forget to come up for air.
  13. Go ahead. Be “that” couple. You’re married! Enjoy your love and delight in each other’s company. A little PDA won’t hurt anyone.
  14. Low libido got you down? Check out this awesome post 7 Simple Ways to Depressurize Valentine’s Day (for low-libido wives) from Pearl’s Oyster Bed.  I particularly like the laughter idea – laugh with your husband! And relax! As Pearl writes, “Generally, he doesn’t care how extravagant your lovemaking is.  Lovemaking with his lady is ecstasy for him.”

*Editor’s Note: Due to Internet connectivity issues, I might not be online as often and won’t be able to respond as quickly to emails. You may have also noticed that I’m not on Twitter or other social media as often. This should hopefully get resolved within a few days.* 



  1. elfurymcs

    A little PDA won’t hurt anyone. Linked to your post here.

  2. alana

    I love the last part of number 9 especially people tend to give men excuses as to why they don’t find their wife attractive your wife is suppose to be your standard of beauty and no I don’t believe a wife or any women for that matter should not care about her outward appearance but no man should put it as first priority too many christian men are coming like unsaved men and many so called christian articles are condoning it i love your posts

    • Thanks for visiting, Alana. I’m so glad you’ve found the BHE community. The opposite of this absolutely does apply. Husbands need to define their standard of beauty by their wives. Mark Driscoll says something to this affect in his Peasant Princess series – “if you married short, you like short; if you married tall, you like tall; if you married small, you like small; if you married big, you like big,” etc. You get the picture. Your spouse should always be the most beautiful person in the world to you. Now are there days when we’re unattractive? Of course! But, your standard of beauty isn’t only measured by the outside. Most importantly, it’s measured by your personality/character – your inside. Even if I’m feeling and looking my worst, Adam still finds me beautiful, not merely because of my outside appearance, but because he loves me as a whole person – inside and out.

  3. Woohoo for #11. It’s funny because my hubby enjoys the evenings because it’s like letting go of the day. I prefer the mornings because it’s before I begin thinking about what i have on my plate for the day. So we do a little of both (but I’m definitely still partial to mornings :)).

    • Thanks for sharing. Wake-up sex has been a new phenomena in the mornings for us. It’s an unexpected pleasure and blessing.

  4. oysterbed7

    I love your disclaimer on #4….It isn’t right to be a tease. I love your spicyy suggestion of public ‘code.’ That’s a great way to create lasting memories you will smile about later (AND, he’ll smile about, too).

    • Thanks Pearl for visiting. I’m all about building good memories with your husband.

  5. Ivan

    A note on number 5, don’t be too gentle. ;-)

    • It’s a personal preference, but thanks for sharing.


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