Why Quality Time is So Important & Checkin’ You Out Date Night, Day 4

If you haven’t been reading up lately, check out the other posts in this series, Get Real, Valentine: I Don’t Wanna Be in Love, Intro, I Love You to Pieces, Day 1, You Blow Me Away, Valentine, Day 2, and Superbowl Sunday, What’s a Lady to Do? Day 3 + Wild Romance Adventure!

The idea of the challenges and date ideas is to be real and authentic in your marriage, to promote quality time together, and to help you thrive in love!

couple reading

Today’s Get Real, Valentine challenge is quality time!

With how busy our lives are these days, intentionally planning date night may be more complicated than it used to be, but I can assure you, it’s worth it!

How do you spend your day? I’d encourage you to make a list of what your priorities are (or what you’d like your priorities to be). Then keep a time journal for a day and record how much time you spend on each of the day’s activities. Let it sit overnight and revisit it. How much time do you actually devote to the things you said were a priority?

Defining quality time: a planned or spontaneous increment of time in which you invest in your spouse by listening attentively, giving your spouse your full-undivided attention for the purposes of loving and caring for one another. Often involves doing an activity together or engaging in a meaningful conversation. 

It is not the amount of time you spend with your husband, but the quality of the time you spend with him. 

  • Have you put away distractions?
  • Is the TV, computer, cell phone/smart phone, tablet/I-pad, I-pod or MP3 player, stereo, etc turned off and set aside?
  • Have you set aside the worries of the day and consciously decided to focus on your spouse without thinking about that ginormous list of things to do?
  • Are you in a quiet place or a place where you can talk/do things together without being interrupted?
  • Are you willing to invest time in serving your husband and enjoying one another’s company?

Consider these questions when making your time together quality.

Jesus made an excellent point in the Scriptures when He said, “For where your treasure is, there your heart is also.” (Matthew 6:21). Consider what you value in your day and what you give value to – is God on the top of your list? What about your spouse? Where does he rank? And the home and your family?

Treasure the time with your spouse whether it be the extra 15 seconds you spend kissing him goodbye in the morning or the full half-hour you devote to sex in the evening, whether you be doing household chores in the same room together or completing the nightly routine of brushing your teeth at your double sinks at the same time. It doesn’t have to be incredibly romantic or even planned. Just be grateful for the presence of your spouse.

Even more so, treasure the time you plan and spend together. Date nights are so much fun before marriage, but they can be even more fun after marriage as the pressure is off to impress and you can be yourselves and enjoy activities you both like.

If date nights are not typically in your routine, I highly recommend and advocate incorporating them in some way. They don’t have to be weekly, elaborate, or expensive. You don’t even have to go out. See my Stay at Home Date Night suggestions. Making time for your spouse, enjoying the simple romance of spending quality time together is essential to helping your marriage thrive.

Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. May the favor of the Lord rest upon us; establish the works of our hands for us, Lord, establish the works of our hands.” Psalm 90:12, 17

Words of Encouragement: 

Text or email this to your spouse: I enjoy spending time with you because _______________ (fill in the blank) or I enjoy your company because _______________ (fill in the blank) or One of my favorite memories with you _______________(fill in the blank).

This date idea takes very little preparation!

Checkin’ You Out Date Night

*This idea was inspired by a photo on Pinterest. I tweaked it for this date night idea.*

Make plans to head to your local library (or bookstore) together today. You can also make a day of it and plan for some used bookstore hopping.

Give your husband a card beforehand. Create a library “checkout” receipt and include the dates when you “checked” your husband out. If you can’t remember the exact dates, consider writing down various physical/intellectual/spiritual/ emotional aspects of your husband you find attractive. The actual dates are not important.

Try a little lip-locking action between the stacks of books. Don’t go too long though unless you’re in a not-so-visited section of the library.

Pick out books for each other based on a subject you think would interest the other, or pick out one on a subject that interests you and pull out some facts you’d like to share with your spouse.

Find a children’s book and a comfy chair and read to each other. Children’s books can be cute, sweet, and fun – and they’re short and don’t require a huge time commitment.

Pick out a book you’d both like to read and make plans to read through it together or separately and then to discuss it.

Often times, local libraries and bookstores have events from classes to poetry readings to movie nights. Take advantage of these together as they are often little to no cost.

Bring a (quiet) *emphasis on quiet* board game to play together such as Scrabble, Phase 10, etc. Winner gets to pick a special “treat or favor” for the spouse to do when you get home.

**This requires a little prep: Create a book scavenger hunt. Make up a list of questions for each other and then go find the books to look up the answers. Questions can be something like: What animals mate for life? What’s the most romantic vacation spot? How is kissing good for your health? etc. Get creative!**

For more ideas for Bookstore (or modified library) Romance, click here.

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