Holy Habit for Marriage #1 – Think on Things of God
Editor’s Note: I will be using Colossians 3 as a guide for holy habits in marriage. I highly recommend reading through the chapter each week after reading the Holy Habits post!
“Unless we make knowing God the basis of all that we do, we will lack a sense of purpose. God created us to know Him, and until that longing is satisfied, we will feel emptiness, a sense of futility. As we get to know Him, He fills us with Himself” ~ Holy Habits by Mimi Wilson and Shelly Cook Volkhardt
My husband often acts as a mirror in our marriage, reflecting back my “holiness” or lack-thereof. If I’m in a bad mood and don’t give him the time of day, he most likely won’t want to be around me either. If I’ve had a good day and my heart is full of praises for the Lord, my husband will more likely respond to me in a positive way.
A spouse often makes a good “check” on the heart, acting as an external conscience. When you strive to live more like Christ and to imitate His holiness, His holiness will spill out into every area of your life, including your marriage. You will be equipped, not through your own strength or merit, but by Christ’s strength to love an imperfect husband unconditionally.
Becoming holy isn’t easy. Holiness is not the same as perfectionism. Perfectionism is man’s attempt to reach a standard of excellence. Biblical perfection is God’s design to sanctify us through Jesus Christ’s atoning sacrifice, the Holy Spirit’s daily guidance, and the Father’s love and mercy.
“Holy habits are daily spiritual habits that help us transcend our circumstances and keep focus on God. Our part is to make it a habit to know Him. His part is to make us holy.” (Wilson and Volkhardt)
1st Holy Habit for Marriage:
Think on things of God
“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” Colossians 3:1-2
When your thoughts are focused on God, you begin to reflect His holiness, acting out of love for Him and for others. You begin to see things the way God sees things.
Practice the Holy Habit of Thinking on Things of God:
- Reflect on God’s Holiness
Leviticus 19:2 says, “Be holy because I, the Lord your God, is holy.” Jesus repeats this similarly in Matthew 5:48, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
God is the definition of holiness. If there is one aspect of His character and knowing Him that we grasp, it should be holiness. Pastor Tony Evans says in his book Our God is Awesome,
“God’s holiness unlocks the door to understanding and making sense of everything else about Him…God swears by His holiness (Psalm 89:35). Why? Because it is the fullest expression of His character because it fully explains who He is. The Bible declares that God is holy in all of His being…Holiness is the defining point of God’s character. At the heart of who God is, is His holiness.”
- Read God’s Word Regularly
2 Timothy 3:16-17 says “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of [the holy] God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. ”
Psalm 119: 9-11says, “How can a young person stay on the path of purity [holiness]. By living according to Your word. I seek You with all my heart;do not let me stray from Your commands. I have hidden Your word in my heart that I might not sin against You.”
- Pray Persistently.
Take your concerns to the Lord regularly.
Psalm 55:22 says, “Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous [His Holy ones] be shaken.”
Confess your sins to God daily and allow your husband to keep you accountable spiritually.
James 5:16 says, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous [holy] person is powerful and effective.”
- Remember how much God loves you and that your husband is a precious son of God.
1 John 3:1 says, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called the sons and daughters of God!”
- When your husband has wronged/hurt you, turn to Jesus for strength, wisdom, and comfort.
Romans 15:13 says, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
I remember one night when my husband was working the night shift at the factory. We had an argument over the phone and I was having trouble sleeping. I turned on my laptop and listened to the song Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus over and over again. Meditate on the chorus with me:
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
Ask yourself this question next time you and your husband get into an argument: in the light of eternity, does this really matter?
The Devil wants you to waste your time arguing, but God wants you to spend your time living for Him. Meditate on things of God so when pain and frustration arises (as it will), you can call to mind His promises and reflect the light of His glory and grace.
- Keep a journal of your thoughts during the day.
Jot down your thoughts, intentions, feelings, and reactions. At the end of the day look back and see what your mind was dwelling on during the day. How well did you reflect the holiness of God?
“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40
Meet Me for a Cup of Coffee
As you reflect on God’s holiness this week, spend time in prayer just praising God for who He is.
Where have you seen evidence of God’s holiness in your life or in the world around you? How can you reflect God’s holiness more in your marriage? How does your spouse act as a reflective mirror for you? What does Colossians 3 tell you about the thoughts of God and how you can reflect His holiness? Meditate on Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus [link below], and listen for God’s Voice. What promises does He assure or use to comfort you through this song?
“Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you…”
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Hebrews 12:1-3
“Let them sing songs of praise!”
Meditate on this song about God’s holiness, and purpose to think about things of God this week.