Beloved, Let Us Love One Another, Day 13
Last summer, we discovered our apartment had a huge mold problem. I am severely allergic to mold. We had to move out temporarily. We actually shuffled between friends homes for almost a month. I remember one night I was sitting on the front porch of one of a friend’s home. I was holding a little white heart-shaped box to my chest, nearly in tears as I waited for Adam to get off work. I had come across the box when we had been moving out filled with marriage advice and encouragement my friends/mentors had written for me during my bridal shower. One of the index cards had this piece of advice written on it:
Be continually gracious with your husband’s sin, and be continually ruthless with your own sin.
Ladies, what I just told you is the best marriage tip I have ever received. This is the one and only time you can be completely ruthless. How do you divorce proof your marriage? Put off selfishness, shake it off as quickly as you would hot coals in your hands- and then remember that God’s love is great for those who fear Him and He removes your sin as far as the East is from the West (Psalm 103:11-12).
This was the best marriage tip I ever received, and the only one that truly matters.
“Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:8
Have you ever gone into a relationship thinking, “I just want to have fun and then I can leave this relationship at any time?” Maybe you started college thinking, “I’m just going to college to please my parents. If it doesn’t work out, then I can just drop out.” Maybe you have started a project at work thinking, “My boss doesn’t look that closely. I’ll take shortcuts now and if someone calls me out on it later I’ll blame…”
Love doesn’t look for the easy way out. Love doesn’t quit when the going gets tough. Love doesn’t look for other options when her marriage isn’t working out.
Love is patient…
Love waits for marriage to have sex. Waiting for married sex shows strength of character and a deep love for God and your future spouse.
Love patiently works through problems with her husband.
3 P’s to Staying Pure
1. Prepare yourself to be known in the fullest, deepest, purest way by seeking after the Lord daily and committing your body to Him.
2. Protect yourself (your body, heart, spirit, mind, words, and actions) from impurity.
3. Prove your love and respect for your future husband by choosing to wait and entering the wedding chamber, pure, completely free of regrets.
Love is kind…
The wedding and your marriage won’t be perfect. Accept that things will go wrong. Establish healthy, holy habits now. Inspect the attitudes of your heart. Offer your husband or future husband the gift of your presence. Uplift each other verbally.
Love doesn’t envy…
The wedding lasts only a day… the marriage lasts a lifetime. In moments of stress, your true character is revealed. How you handle pressure during the wedding planning period is a good indicator of how you will handle pressures in your marriage.
Keeping the Weeds of Envy Away
Love others sincerely. Open your heart to contentment. Venture into the Bible. Engage in relationship with God.
Fighting the Weeds of Envy
Look up to God. Open your hear to God’s healing. Vent negative emotions in a constructive way. Evict envy from your heart by replacing it with contentment, joy, love, and peace.
Love doesn’t boast/isn’t proud…
Our pride in what we do for others, in our personal struggles that we fail to share with others, and in getting what we feel we deserve/need masks the inadequacies we feel, the insecurities we struggle with, our fear of being judged, and our hurt over neglect and betrayal. Underneath the desire to control is a heart issue – pride. Don’t be so proud that you can’t admit when you’re wrong.
Practical Ways to Battle Pride
Allow God in. Encourage your fiance/husband to lead. Invite your man to contribute. Oh, be patient. Understand your man’s need for respect.
Love doesn’t dishonor others…
To honor is to respect. A man won’t feel honored if you don’t respect him. To honor is to embrace womanhood. You were created with purpose, designed to be co-heirs in the kingdom of God, designed for relationship, created to love and offer beauty. To honor is to submit to your husband. To honor is to protect and strengthen.
Love isn’t self-seeking…
Selfishness breeds distraction, deception, and dissatisfaction. Selfishness equals disaster in marriage. Selflessness reflects attentiveness and truth, and builds satisfaction. Seek to put your fiancé/spouse first. Pay attention to his needs/desires even if they conflict with your plans. Reflect Christlikeness.
Love isn’t easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs…
How you respond to your own anger reflects our heart condition. Anger is never a justification to sin. Learning how to respond Biblically to anger will help you fight fairly in your marriage. Forgive readily. Act respectfully. Love unconditionally.
Responding Biblically to Anger
Avoid blowing up immediately. Examine your own head/heart first. Identify the reason for your anger. Observe your anger from God’s perspective. Unplug angry fuses by going to God.
Love doesn’t delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth…
Evil is anything and anyone who goes against the nature of our triune perfect and holy God. Evil is anything that deliberately violates our God and other people, causing injury, suffering, and destruction. I’m a good person is a lie from Satan.
How to Honor Your Husband With Your Heart, Head, and Hands
Allow God to redeem your emotions. Regularly confess your sins before God, and ask for forgiveness. Guard your heart daily by putting on the full armor of God. Trust in God’s provision, plan, and faithfulness. Practice positive, thinking daily. Dwell on the positives about your husband. Devote yourself to prayer about your thought life. Meditate on things of God, on His character and His promises. Submit to your husband’s leadership. Work to do things to please your husband. Avoid doing things that hurt/harm your husband. Go before God in prayer if your husband asks you to do something that violates His Word. Spend time in Scripture reviewing your understanding of His teachings. Respectfully tell your husband why you disagree and how it contradicts what the Bible calls you to do.
Love always protects…
As a relational being, woman is intuitively designed to pay attention to emotions. As a wife, you have been placed in a unique position to share in your husband’s deepest emotions, desires, needs, and struggles. While the husband’s job is to be the head of the household and to protect his wife physically, financially, sexually, spiritually, and emotionally, the woman has the unique job of protecting the heart of the household – the heart of her husband.
Protect your husband’s heart and the heart of your marriage by flaring your quills – your built-in defense system. Actively protect the heart of your marriage by being right with God, spending time in prayer daily, and dressing every morning with the full armor of God!
Protect your marriage’s journey to the moon and back by not gossiping with others about intimate details, by not drawing unwanted attention to yourself by dressing immodestly, by not comparing your husband to other men, by not keeping bad company, by not demeaning your husband’s decisions/desires/dreams/needs, and by not neglecting his sexual needs.
Power your love to the moon and back by staying in communication with one another, watching what you say, spending quality time with your spouse, watching what you see/hear, surrounding yourself with people who affirm marriage, by lovingly affirming your husband’s decisions/desires/dreams/needs, and by inviting him to enjoy your body and working to pleasure him regularly.
Love always trusts…
Husbands need to be respected. They love to protect their wives. It’s in their nature. They need to be trusted. When a wife trusts her husband, she in turn makes him want to be trustworthy.
Love always trusts God, who in turn, enables you to trust Him when He asks you to submit to her husband. Love trusts her husband’s spiritual, physical, and emotional protection.
Love always hopes/perseveres…
Trust in God! Hope in His plan! Persevere in trials! Pursue His will! His timing is perfect!
Practically Persevere God’s Way
Lay down your burdens and let God carry you. Linger with God and stay anchored in His Word. Look up to God and His will, instead of making things about your will.
Love never fails. Period!
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.” 1 John 4:7
This is Day 13 of the ½ marathon blogging challenge from the CMBA. For the first 13 days in October, you will get a nonstop taste of my writing. To see the official rules, click here. To see other CMBA bloggers’ posts, click here.
I’d love to hear from you…
I have thoroughly enjoyed participating in this challenge. Thank you to all of you who took this journey with me. I have learned so much from writing for you and reading other CMBA-r’s posts during this time and from what the Lord has been teaching me in the process. I will be away over the weekend, but I’d welcome any final thoughts about this series that you have.
What does “love never fails” look like to you?
- Posted in: Femininity and Womanhood ♦ Fruits of the Spirit ♦ God's Love ♦ Honor ♦ Knowing God ♦ Prayer ♦ Protecting Your Marriage ♦ Real Marriage ♦ Respect ♦ Sex ♦ Submission ♦ Waiting For Marriage ♦ Worship
- Tagged: 1 Corinthians 13, 1/2 Marathon Blog Challenge, Acceptance, CMBA, Dating & Engaged Women, Ephesians 5, Patience, Unconditional Love