I Thought You Should Know That You’re My Hero, Day 11
Editor’s Note: There are plenty of marriages out there that suffered from broken trust. Today I’m not going to address rebuilding trust, but instead will focus on ways for wives to trust their husbands, and why a wife should trust God first.
“Right turn, fall down,
You’re here to pick me up off the ground…
…Here with me through the sun and the rain
I thought you should know that you’re my hero!
Let’s grow old together
With my heart in your hands and your hands holding mine.“
~ Lanae Hale “Let’s Grow Old Together“
I love this song by Lanae Hale. I never thought I’d meet someone who fit these thoughts… until Adam. I love how I can trust my husband. He’s there to pick me up when I fall down. He’s here with me for better, or for worse. I know that I can trust my heart to Adam because he’s right here holding my hands. When you think of growing old together with your husband, what words come to mine? My top three words were love, respect, and trust.
1 Corinthians 13:7 says, “Love always trusts…” What does that mean? Love always trusts doesn’t imply naiveté, blindly following your husband into sin, or never questioning your husband’s dishonest actions. Love does mean that you trust God with your husband, that you submit to your husband’s authority, and that you believe in your husband.
Love Always Trusts… God First!
“There is none like the Lord; there is none besides you; there is no rock like our God.” (1 Samuel 2:2).
I love how my husband stands his ground and it’s hard to knock him over (and believe me, I’ve tried and I usually end up getting hurt). However, he’s not unmovable. He will stumble from time to time and fail me. However, I know that my God is a Rock I can stand on that will never give way.
In the first year of our marriage, I was always terrified if Adam took an abnormal amount of time to drive home. I worried constantly about what would happen if God decided to take my young husband away from me. Where would I live? How would I support myself financially? Would I die of a broken heart?
God convicted me earlier this year one night as I was pouring out my heart to Him that holding onto my husband with a Vulcan death grip wouldn’t change the fact that God was in control and wouldn’t spare my husband if it was God’s will to call him home. Proverbs 28:26 says, “He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe.” I was trusting in my own abilities to keep Adam safe, and of course, it wasn’t doing anything. It was foolish. As I realized how capable and strong my God was and how incapable and weak I was, I was finally able to lay my husband on the altar and let go, trusting that God had Adam in His hands.
“The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all He does. The Lord upholds all who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.” Psalm 145:13
In order to trust your husband submissively, you must first submit to God.
You must recognize the authority of God’s Word in your life in order to be a submissive wife. You won’t be perfect, but God promises to uphold you. This doesn’t mean that He won’t ever let you fall, but it does mean that He will sustain you in your struggles and trials. He won’t stop loving you even when you fail.
You must humble yourself before the Lord in order to be a submissive wife. God also promises to lift up all who humble themselves before Him. He will encourage your heart when you’re having a hard time trusting Him or when your husband fails you. He will lighten your load when you are burdened.
- …that her husband is in right standing with the Lord. Love never arrogantly assumes that she is more righteous.
- …that God will protect and provide for her when her husband doesn’t do his job. Love never tries to step in and do her husband’s job for him.
- …that God will work in her husband’s heart when he is failing her. Love doesn’t arrogantly pray that her will be done in her husband’s life instead of desiring what God will is for her husband’s life. Love doesn’t ask God to change her spouse without being willing to first change herself.
Submission is not designed to scare or demean you. God created the husband to be in authority and the wife to be in submission so that the husband can protect his wife. You can trust God when He tells you to submit to your husband because God always knows what He’s doing.
Love submits to…
- His spiritual protection
- Love trusts that God has given her husband wisdom to see things or understand things that she may have missed
- Love trusts that her husband when he confronts a sin in your life, and take his words with grace.
- Love trusts her husband to protect her from the attacks of the Evil One and people who or teaching that will lead you astray. Because we are daughters of Eve, women can sometimes be more easily deceived than men. Pay attention to your husband when he corrects your misconceptions about God and the truth of His Word.
- His physical protection
- Love doesn’t get upset when her husband tries to protect her from physical harm.
- Love doesn’t stubbornly refuse to ask for help (i.e. lets her husband carry a box that’s too heavy for her, permits her husband to help her over a big puddle or a gap in a bridge, allows her husband to walk on the outside of her – I love it when my husband does that!)
- Love doesn’t dishonor her husband by ignoring his warnings about another man making physical advances on her. Sometimes women think they are being friendly when they are really crossing the line toward flirting (I learned that the hard way), and they’re oblivious when another man is doing the same thing. Respect your husband’s judgment.
- His emotional protection
- Love listens to her husband when he sees that she’s overwhelmed. I often have blinders on when it comes to this area. I tend to throw myself into my work (i.e. household chores, blog, school, job) and forget to eat, drink enough water, get enough sleep, etc. Adam does a wonderful job with reminding me to take a break and to take care of my physical needs.
- Love doesn’t get upset when her husband tries to do something to lighten her load. Love doesn’t demand that things must be done her way or no way at all.
- Love doesn’t ignore her husband when he says she’s being too emotional. This is a sticky issue. Sometimes my emotions are all over the place and I have a hard time thinking rationally. It’s hard to do so in the moment but I appreciate it when my husband makes a decision for me because he can think clearly and I’m not or when he gives me some space to cool off or when he gives me a big hug to help calm me down.
Husbands need to be respected. They love to protect their wives. It’s in their nature. They need to be trusted. When a wife trusts her husband, she in turn makes him want to be trustworthy.
1 Corinthians 13:7 says, “Love always trusts…” Love always trusts God, who in turn, enables you to trust Him when He asks you to submit to her husband. Love trusts her husband’s spiritual, physical, and emotional protection.
I can tell you it is so freeing to be able to trust my husband because I don’t need to worry about my spiritual, physical, or emotional safety and well-being. God’s got it under control! I just need to trust God, and in turn, trust my husband.
“I thought you should know that you’ll always be my hero!”
This is Day 11 of the ½ marathon blogging challenge from the CMBA. For the first 13 days in October, you will get a nonstop taste of my writing. To see the official rules, click here. To see other CMBA bloggers’ posts, click here.
I’d love to hear from you…
How are you building trust in your relationship now with your future husband? What areas can you trust your future husband in? In what areas do you feel that you can only trust God for?
For those who are married, how do you build trust with your spouse? In what areas do you need to trust each other more?