Driving to the Moon and Back – Protecting Your Husband’s Heart, Part 2, Day 10

On April 11, 1970, NASA launched the seventh manned mission in the American Apollo Space Program, the third intended to land on the moon. Two days later the oxygen tank malfunctioned and exploded. The craft began losing power, heat, potable water, and the carbon dioxide removal system malfunctioned. The mission was aborted, and miraculously, the astronauts made it back to Earth safely.

Did you know that “every day, the heart creates enough energy to drive a truck 20 miles? In a lifetime, that is equivalent to driving to the moon and back.” Random Facts: 36 Interesting Facts about the Human Heart

The space craft depended upon the oxygen tank for survival. Just like the shuttle, our bodies depend on the vital organ of the heart. Without it, the body wouldn’t survive. You would cease to exist. You would be nothing. Similarly, Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13 that without love, you are nothing. Zip! Zilch! Nada! Nothing! Love is the lifeblood of a marriage. Without love, you are just lifelessly coexisting.

So how do you keep your marriage from malfunctioning and being unable to make it to the moon, (the travel to the moon and back being equivalent to the span of your lifetime)? Love. I’d like to say at the end of my life that the love in our marriage created enough energy to drive to the moon and back… wouldn’t you?

Love Always Protects

As a wife, you have been placed in a unique position to share in your husband’s deepest emotions, desires, needs, and struggles. While the husband’s job is to be the head of the household and to protect his wife physically, financially, sexually, spiritually, and emotionally, the woman has the unique job of protecting the heart of the household – the heart of her husband.” ~ From Flare Your Quills

Like the Apollo shuttle, our marriages need a built in carbon-dioxide removal system (like the Full Armor of God that we talked about yesterday). But just as they also need to be pumping oxygen back into the shuttle to survive, you need to be pumping love back into your marriage to survive. These two systems function to protect your marriage.

What are some things that disrupt “oxygen-flow” (love flow) in your marriage? What are some practical ways to protect your marriage?

Love doesn’t…

  • …Share details about her sex life or her husband’s intimate dreams and failures with other people

Whoever guards [her] mouth preserves [her] life; [s]he who opens wide [her] lips comes to ruin.” Proverbs 13:3 (ESV).

  • …Draw unwanted attention to herself by dressing immodestly

“…women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control…” 1 Timothy 2:9 (ESV).

  • …Compare her husband to other men

And all that my eyes desired I did not refuse them. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure, for my heart was pleased because of all my labor and this was my reward for all my labor. Thus I considered all my activities which my hands had done and the labor which I had exerted, and behold all was vanity and striving after wind and there was no profit under the sun.” Ecclesiastes 2:10-11

  • …Keep company with men (and women) who would tempt her to stray from her marriage or invite her to sin

“…you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sisterbut is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler…” 1 Corinthians 5:11

  • …Talk down to her husband, demeaning his decisions/desires/dreams/needs

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” Proverbs 18:21

  •  …Withhold her body unnecessarily from her husband

Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinthians 7:4

Love does…

  • …Watch what she says to others

Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.” Proverbs 13:3

“Set a guard over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.” Psalm 141:3

  • …Remain content with what she has

Better is the little that the righteous has than the abundance of many wicked.” Psalm 37:16

  • …Spend quality time with her spouse.

…Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions…” 1 John 3:18

 

  • Watch what her eyes see and what her ears hear.

Let those who love the Lord hate evil, for He guards the lives of his faithful ones and delivers them from the hand of the wicked.” Psalm 97:10

  • …Surround herself with people who support and affirm marriage.

He who walks with the wise grows wise.” Proverbs 13:4

“Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:25

  • …Affirm her husband’s decisions/desires/dreams/needs

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29

“Encourage one another and build each other up…” 1 Thessalonians 5:11

  • Affirm her husband’s masculinity by inviting him into sexual pleasure 

“…each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 1 Corinthians 7:2-3

“…Come, my beloved, let us go…” Song of Solomon 7:11

Questions to Ask Yourself When Preparing for Marriage

What kind of company am I keeping? Am I hanging around people who tear down marriage and make fun of God’s purpose for marriage or am I spending time in fellowship with those who support and affirm marriage?

Am I watching what I say? Do I indulge in gossip or do I curb the urge to spill private details about my fiancé’s life, his family’s, and other people’s ?

Am I drawing unwanted attention to myself even now? Am I tempting other men with my attire, including my fiancé? Do I dress immodestly or modestly?

Do I play the comparison game? Do I covet what other women have in their relationships with their boyfriends/fiancés/husbands? Do I wish my fiancé would be more like someone else? Or do I lovingly accept my fiancé for who he is, flaws and all?

How will my relationships with the opposite sex change once I’m married (this is a good question to discuss with your fiancé)? What boundaries will I need to set?

Do I affirm my fiancé’s dreams, desires, goals, work, and decisions even now? Do I uplift him with my speech, attitude, and actions? Do I encourage him in his work, to pursue his dreams, and to reach his goals? Do I criticize decisions he makes, or do I respect them?

Dialogue for Those Who Are Married

In what ways, do we feel protected by one another? In what ways, do we feel unprotected by one another? What areas can we work on to build a hedge of protection around our marriage? How can we better arm ourselves against the attacks of the Evil One?

How can we affirm each other’s decisions, dreams, desires, and needs?

Evaluate the company you keep. Is it affirming or destructive?

In what ways, are we watching what we say, hear, and see? In what ways, do we need to be more careful about what we say, hear, and see?

——Bottom Line————————-

1 Corinthians 13:7 says, “Love always protects…”

Protect your marriage’s journey to the moon and back by not gossiping with others about intimate details, by not drawing unwanted attention to yourself by dressing immodestly, by not comparing your husband to other men, by not keeping bad company, by not demeaning your husband’s decisions/desires/dreams/needs, and by not neglecting his sexual needs.

Power your love to the moon and back by staying in communication with one another, watching what you say, spending quality time with your spouse, watching what you see/hear, surrounding yourself with people who affirm marriage, by lovingly affirming your husband’s decisions/desires/dreams/needs, and by inviting him to enjoy your body and working to pleasure him regularly.

This is Day 10 of the ½ marathon blogging challenge from the CMBA. For the first 13 days in October, you will get a nonstop taste of my writing. To see the official rules, click here. To see other CMBA bloggers’ posts, click here.

I’d love to hear from you…

How are you building up and affirming your future husband now? What words, actions, and attitudes do you need to change before getting married? What things can you do now to build a hedge of protection around your marriage?

For those who are married, how do you protect your spouse now? What areas do you still struggle with and need prayer for?

Related Posts

1. Blazing into the Great Known, 13.1 Blog Challenge Intro

2. I’ll Be Waiting for You Baby, 13.1 Blog Challenge, Day 1

3. Love is Patient. Love is Kind. Love Means Slowly Losing Your Mind, 13.1 Blog Challenge, Day 2

4. Sleeping with One Eye Open, 13.1 Blog Challenge, Day 3

5. I’m Always Right, Right? 13.1 Blog Challenge, Day 4

6. To Honor, 13.1 Blog Challenge, Day 5

7. 3 Lessons I’ve Learned About Selfishness, 13.1 Blog Challenge, Day 6 

8. What Gets Your Goat? 13.1 Blog Challenge, Day 7

9. Do I Delight in Evil? 13.1 Blog Challenge, Day 8

10. Flare Your Quills – Protecting Your Husband’s Heart, 13.1 Blog Challenge, Day 9

Advertisements

14 Comments

  1. uncommonprincess

    I like what I’ve seen of your blog. There are a lot of interesting things to think about and I think you present them in a very positive light. I’ve actually written about a couple of these subjects already and am planning a couple of posts more specifically about respect for the future. In particular, I did do a post about friendship, particularly friendship with the opposite sex. I actually have a small collection of posts about modesty. It would probably be entirely too much to type in a comment. I actually have a question for you, though.

    I wondered, does submitting to your husband come naturally to you, and does his role come naturally to him? If it doesn’t, do you have to always make a conscious effort? Does it/did it ever feel unnatural, like the role doesn’t fit?

    Please understand, I don’t mean this question in any sort of judgmental light. It’s just that my relationship with my man is based in traditional gender roles, and this comes naturally to us. It developed naturally in our relationship, but it seems a lot of blogs I have read are about women for whom it did not develop naturally and often who were actually a bit domineering in the past. It seems sort of difficult for me to understand, I guess.

    • Hi Uncommon Princess,
      I apologize for how long it took me to get back to you. I wanted to adequately discuss this with my husband first to get his input.

      Short Answer to Your Question: Yes and no.

      Longer Answer: Submission is a lifelong process, and while a woman was created to be in submission to her husband, we live in a fallen world where we’re told lies by the Devil and we battle with the desire to control our world, and in turn, our husbands however subtle or obvious it may be. In our sinful nature apart from Christ, it is unnatural to follow the teachings of the Bible. In the natural way God created us, it is natural to fulfill our roles as women.

      All that being said, I didn’t have a clue about submission when I first got married, what it looked like, and how I was supposed to be as a wife. With time, the Bible, prayer, and some help from Christian reading materials, God worked in my heart and began to give me a clearer picture of how my selfishness and stubbornness was the exact opposite of submitting to God and to my husband. Now, I will say that I submit a lot more readily, and I respect my husband so much more than I did in the beginning.

      Some things come extremely naturally for me. I love being a caregiver – I love taking care of my husband and making our house a home and cooking and baking. I love dressing femininely and make an effort to take care of myself so that I please my husband (and yet I still know that he finds me beautiful even on my bad hair days). I love hearing my husband’s thoughts on God, life, and the world, and learning from him about these things. I love consulting with him before making decisions, and allowing him to handle the finances (since I don’t have a financial bone in my body). I trust him when he is away from me and when he makes decisions that he has my best interest at heart. I love giving of myself to him (though that wasn’t always the case in the beginning) because we are both physically affectionate people and love our sex life.

      However, there are things that are still a struggle for me. I am still learning how to handle disappointment graciously in our marriage (when he disappoints me, when life disappoints me). We struggle with arguing about finances, and I have to bite my tongue pretty hard to keep from saying stuff like “you always,” or “you never.” I am still learning to accept constructive (and sometimes less-than-gracious) criticism.

      Adam says that there’s a lot of things that come naturally to him. He is naturally masculine (something I love and appreciate about him). He enjoys taking care of me and bringing me pleasure physically and emotionally. He works hard to protect and provide for me, and enjoys the responsibility of managing the finances. He checks with me before making financial decisions, even if I’m not bringing in much, if any money at times. He consults with me before making decisions to spend time with friends online or in person or over the phone. However, something he says he struggles with is talking with me – communicating his thoughts and desires – which I’m not sure how entirely natural that is for a man, but it’s extremely important in marriage. Another thing that he’s working at is being a spiritual leader. He’s not always sure what that means and how to lead me spiritually, and this bothers him… but I can say he’s improved greatly since the start of our marriage and even in this past month.

      I hope that answers your questions. Basically, we both believe that filling our roles will be a lifelong learning process, some areas coming easier than others, but if we stay firmly grounded on the Rock (God), He will guide us through.

      • uncommonprincess

        Thank you so much for your response. I appreciate it very much. You didn’t take too long at all, I completely understand needing time to think it over, and talk it over with your husband. I also really appreciate having his view of it as well as yours. It’s just something I always wonder when I read others’ blogs like this one.

        • You’re welcome. And thank you for asking. I appreciate it when my readers ask probing questions. Keeps me on my toes.

          • uncommonprincess

            I’m glad it wasn’t too personal.

  2. Beautiful and practical!

    • Thank you, April! May God continue to work in your marriage and life. May God continue to teach you how to protect your husband’s precious heart.

  3. Love this post. It isn’t often that protecting a husband’s heart is covered with such care and depth. The questions for unmarried people bring a focus to their decision to get married and the work that is involved after the wedding. Great stuff!

    • Thank you for your kind compliments.

  4. I have really enjoyed these last two! (Maybe that’s because I’m a husband, and I love the idea of my wife protecting my heart…)

    • Thank you! This is something that God has placed on my heart lately- that as a wife, I am called to protect my husband’s heart. I hope to encourage all wives to do the same.

Trackbacks

  1. Zealously Protect Your Marriage, Part 3, Day 23 | Becoming His Eve
  2. Talk Him Up, Day 6 | Becoming His Eve
  3. Remembering Jesus Our Advocate & 7 Practical Ways to Be Your Husband’s Advocate | Becoming His Eve

Drop a Line

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: