I’ll Be Waiting for You Baby, [The Conclusion of 10 Secrets from a Wife Who Waited…and Who Loves Married Sex] Day 1
I’ve never run a marathon before, or a half-marathon for that matter. I do like to think of myself as a sort-of runner. When I’m stressed, upset, or just needed to burn up some excess energy, I always find running to be cathartic – just me and God meeting on the road between the pounding of my feet on the pavement and the stilted breathing. In that place, I met my Lord.
Preparing for marriage and planning my wedding felt very much like what I’d describe to be a marathon…or maybe a 100 meter sprint backwards and blindfolded. I’d also describe myself as a physical woman. I enjoy being active, getting outdoors and moving. I also appreciate the firm grasp of a good handshake, the warmth of a friend’s embrace, and I love my husband’s kisses even more now than I did when we were dating. Knowing that, you can probably imagine how difficult it was for me to wait until marriage. You and I are human, and human beings were created by our Designer to need physical contact. It reminds us why we’re alive – and gives us a chance to touch a part of our Creator God. It also gives us incredible comfort and reassurance – that we are not alone.
During my engagement, I lived on my own for nine months. I was under a lot of physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual pressure. I was trying to finish an academically challenging final semester in college while working three jobs to support myself and pay for my wedding. I was having difficulty with my family, I was struggling with my faith and what I was supposed to do with the rest of my life, and on top of everything else, I fell ill. If it weren’t for God’s miraculous hand in my life, a supportive group of friends who had become like family, and the love of my life, my fiancé, I think I would’ve fallen apart.
There were times I felt incredibly alone, and impatient. I just wanted everything to be over with and behind me. I wanted to be married, to be with my husband. I recall several times hearing a voice in my head saying, “You’re already engaged… it’s okay…” Doesn’t it sometimes feel that easy? It’s not really hurting anyone, right? I’m in love so it’s all right? It’s not really sinful if we’re engaged, hmm?
“Being with” the one you love before marriage is NOT what God designed us for…nor what He intended. In August, I wrote a series called 10 Secrets from a Wife Who Waited…and Who Loves Married Sex. I never finished. Today I will.
What is the #1 reason I waited…
…Love is patient!
An impatient Israel grumbled as they wandered around in the wilderness and many of them were unable to see the Promised Land. God raises up Moses and draws them out of Egypt, out of enslavement. God did not leave their side – as the Cloud by day and the Pillar of Fire by night, He goes before them. God then leads them to the Red Sea so that Pharaoh, when he comes after the Israelites, will think that they’re confused and they will die. But God has an amazing plan! The Red Sea could’ve been parted already and waiting for the Israelites to walk through, but instead asks Israel to wait, and parted it later. Why? So “the Egyptians will know that I am the Lord when I gain glory” (Ex. 14:18).
God has a plan for His honor and His glory. When I was in my crazy sprint toward my wedding and a vow that would ultimately affect the rest of my life – marriage, He went before me also with a plan for my honor and my glory. God asked me to wait for Adam and He was right beside me, fighting with me what seemed like an uphill battle against temptation, guiding me through the desert of my patience-stretched-thin. On the darkest and loneliest nights, God whispered reassurances to my heart that it was worth it because not only would He be honored and glorified, but I would bring glory and honor to my husband-to-be…because love is patient.
Sex outside of marriage is impatient, lacking the love needed to sustain marriage.
Impatience says, “I don’t love you enough to fight temptation.” Impatience says, “I don’t love you enough to do what’s best for you.” Impatience says, “I don’t love you enough to wait.”
Waiting for married sex shows strength of character and a deep love for God and your future spouse.
Patience says, “I love you period…
…no matter what!
I may have found some comfort in the arms of my lover before marriage, but not the kind of lasting comfort, pleasure, and joy God promises for those who wait. I wouldn’t get to see the long awaited “Promised Land” on my wedding night, and the taste of milk and honey would have soured and fermented.
With the pressures of wedding planning and the stresses of life closing in like the oppressive wheels of the Egyptian chariots, I could have easily panicked and jumped into the “Red Sea” heading for the Promised Land on my own. But I never would have made it, drowning in my own foolish attempts to do God’s job.
“Do not be terrified; do not be afraid... The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as He did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes,and in the wilderness. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his [daughter], all the way you went until you reached this place.” Deuteronomy 1:29-31.
In those moments when you’re struggling to wait, when you’re willing to settle, when you wanting to jump the line, run to the arms of God. Don’t disregard God’s plan when the race becomes painful or overwhelming. When it’s tempting to give in or jump ahead, remember that the Lord remembers those who wait on Him, and the Promised Land is waiting for you at the other end.
Listen to this song Love is Waiting by Brooke Fraser. She captures the thought perfectly, “When it’s time to walk that way, we wanna walk it well.”
Patience says, “I’ll fight the battle with honor…
…for the real glory of a rightly-won victory, saving the darkest of nights for you and you alone the right way.”
Walk the way well. Fight the good fight with faith in God that He knows what He’s doing because you never have to blaze into the Great Unknown – God’s already been there
Why do I love married sex? Because I patiently waited no matter how challenging the race was getting there and because the ultimate test of love is to wait. And the waiting for my Adam, my Promised Land, was worth it because it was done the right way.
1 Corinthians 13:4 says, “Love is patient…” Replace the word love with your name and ask yourself if you can truly say, “I’ll be waiting for you, baby!”
This is Day 1 of the ½ marathon blogging challenge from the CMBA. For the first 13 days in October, you will get a nonstop taste of my writing. To see the official rules, click here. To see other CMBA bloggers’ posts, click here.
I’d love to hear from you…
Do you think patience is the ultimate test of love? Why or why not? If you’re already married, what lessons did God teach you while waiting for marriage? Was it worth it? What advice would you pass on to those who are waiting? If you didn’t wait, what would you have done differently?