Let’s Talk the ‘S’ Word: Sex
Editor’s Note: This post is Part 1 of the Let’s Talk Sex series. Much of the material is pulled from the original intro to this series.
…if I may beg your indulgence. After a much needed 2 week hiatus, I’m back! It was wonderful to connect with my husband more, to make plans for our future, to reexamine my priorities and put things in perspective, and to spend more time growing in the Lord. Prayers are being answered and I must say I’m thrilled! I’m also excited to see the blog readership/social media sites grow. Let me say thanks to all my readers via the blog, email subscriptions, feedreaders, and social media. I appreciate you tremendously and couldn’t do this without you!
The Infamous ‘S’ Word
Sex. It’s probably one of the most controversial contradictory topics ever to cross the face of the earth.
Don’t have it.
It’s messy. It’s gross.
It’s beautiful. It’s fulfilling.
It’s for marriage.
It’s okay- we’re in love.
Protect your body. Guard your heart.
It’s just your duty.
It was created for pleasure.
Are you confused? I sure was. I had been exposed to nearly every viewpoint there is about sex when I got married, and I didn’t have a clue what a “good Christian girl” was to think about sex and even do about sex. It took months of searching Scripture, praying, long talks with my husband, and plugging in with other Christian married women who were passionate about helping other married women embrace sex for what it was intended to be – what God intended it to be for us women.
Before we go any further, I do want to state that I’m not about to reveal every intimate, juicy detail of my sex life or anyone else’s for that matter in this series. Some things need to be reserved only for your bedroom and with your spouse. BUT… I don’t want to discourage questions. Being curious about sexuality, especially godly sexuality and feminine sensuality, is healthy. A woman needs to know her own body.
I am by no means an expert, a marriage counselor, a sex therapist, or a psychologist. I am a young Christian wife who had many questions about her own sexuality and what a Biblical view of sex was and I want to share what I’ve learned with you because I want you to make your own healthy, informative choices about sex in a manner pleasing to God, in a way that will bring your husband (or future husband) the most honor, and in a way that will ultimately bring you pleasure and joy also.
Please feel free to leave comments or ask questions via email, but please know I WILL NOT PUBLISH AND WILL DELETE comments that include: your contact information, photos or videos of any kind, links to websites you’d recommend, advice that is not Biblically sound, and any material that is racist, derogatory, sexist, lewd or crude, explicitly sexual (beyond PG-13), and rude.
Can Sex Honor God?
Understanding sexuality as it was intended for marriage is a topic that is often overlooked in Christian circles, and frankly Sex Ed 101 doesn’t cut it. This is more like God-glorifying Sex 101. Contrary to popular belief, God-glorifying sex is radical, purifying, uplifting, passionate, pleasurable, radical, intimate, healthy, daring, exciting, adventurous, sensuous, and honorable!
Here are some of the topics we’ll be covering in the next couple weeks (by myself and guest posters)…
What Scripture Has to Say: God’s Design for Sex
Three Lies from the Devil About Sex
Lessons I’ve Learned About Married Sex (especially for first-timers)
How to Glorify God with Your Body
What Does It Mean to Stay Pure?
Is There Forgiveness and Redemption for Sexual Impurity?
Sex Within Marriage: Duty-Bound or Honor-Bound?
Embracing Your Sexuality and Sensuality the Way God Intended
How to Talk about Sex in a Healthy Way
If you are unmarried, I encourage you to keep a journal regarding your own personal desires, struggles with, or questions about sex & marriage and talk with an older trusted Christian married woman. I also highly encourage you and a close Christian girl friend (with the guidance of an older Christian married woman if at all possible ) to delve deeply into what it means to stay sexually pure before marriage, how to confront temptation, what your boundaries are, and how you plan to stick to them prior to marriage. Give your body over to God, entrusting it to Him, and then daily embrace the freedom, forgiveness, and redemption found in Christ, taking up your cross and following Him.
If you are dating, I encourage you to engage in healthy dialogue about sex. This isn’t a topic that should be saved for “late in the game” so to speak. Set boundaries from the beginning. Make a commitment to purity. For every couple, what’s too far tends to be different, but in general I’d say anything that is covered by a modest bathing suit is off limits. Talk about temptation and how you plan to head it off. Commit with another dating couple to keep each other accountable.
If you’re engaged, talk about your expectations for marriage and the first night. This is going to be a huge part of your marriage so you shouldn’t hide the topic under a rock. I highly recommend and encourage marital counseling. Seek out someone who will help you engage in a healthy conversation about sex. Talk to older married couples and ask them questions and what lessons/advice they can pass onto you.
If you are married, fully embrace God’s perfect design and plan for your married sex life. Communicate with each other regularly not only to build physical intimacy, but emotional and spiritual also. Don’t shy away from talking about sex with other married women, especially godly married women. God does say to keep certain things in the bedroom, but this doesn’t mean that we cannot encourage or help one another in the faith regarding the gift of sex. Help other young married and unmarried women understand that you can glorify God through healthy, appropriate expressions of sexuality with your husband, and that waiting for marriage is the most fulfilling, satisfying journey you will take and the culmination of that journey is priceless, precious, and pure.
I’d love to hear from you…
What are your thoughts on this series? Do you think this is something that could benefit you? What questions/mysteries would you like answered?
Recommended Posts from other CMBA-r’s:
5 Reasons I Like Sex: Confessions From a Christian Wife by Julie of Intimacy in Marriage (for married women)
Benefits vs. Costs of Waiting for Marriage by April of Peaceful Single Girl (single/dating/engaged women)
Handling Sexual Pressure from Guys by April of Peaceful Single Girl (single/dating/engaged women)
The Selfless Act of Sex by Mystery 32 (for married women)
Wedding Night Sex by J of Hot, Holy, and Humorous (for soon-to-be married women)
Why God Wants us to Wait Until Marriage For Sex by Sheila of To Love, Honor, and Vacuum (for single/dating/engaged women)