Give Things He Loves a Chance – Dare #5
Dare#5 What is something that you husband enjoys doing? Think of a few ideas, especially activities that you don’t normally do with him or don’t particularly enjoy. Give it a chance. Let him teach you something today. If you’re completely stuck and can’t think of anything, ask your husband: What is one thing you’d like to teach me about or one activity you would like to do with me?
Think of this as a time where you can get to know your spouse better, and learn why he enjoys his particular interests. Adam is a huge gamer and he’s going to teach me how to play this computer game that he loves. I’m actually looking forward to it since I’m a big Star Wars fan.
Always doing activities that you like, always making your husband compromise, and always focusing on your mutual interests means you’re missing out on the chance to explore the rich, wonderful world of your husband. I find learning about my husband or hearing him talk about something he’s passionate about or interested in is fascinating. I’m not saying you have to fall in love with his passions – fixing the car, playing video games, watching sports, playing sports, etc. I am saying – Give him your ear. Be patient. Give his “loves” a chance.
Part of learning to be of one mind is to get inside your husband’s mind. Guys like to show their love for us often through doing things. My husband is definitely more of a “let’s do something” guy than a “let’s talk” guy. Doesn’t mean you can’t talk. Use this time to get to know your husband. Ask him to tell you what got him interested in these things, and to help you understand why he likes certain things.
Spending time with your husband doing something he enjoys shows that you respect your husband. And your husband needs to be and feel respected. Honor him today by doing an activity he enjoys together. Show that you value the things that make him unique. Don’t do this dare because you want him to do the same thing for you. Do this dare out of genuine love for him.
“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Philippians 2:1-4
***I’m not saying you should always compromise for him either. If you find yourself giving into what he wants to do all the time, your husband is missing out on what makes you unique. Being submissive is NOT about being weak or never having any opinions or say or ideas or never making any decisions. Being submissive is understanding as a redeemed Eve you have been empowered and you hold a position of strength, not weakness. Being submissive is showing your husband you respect and love him through your thoughts, words, and actions, respecting his authority and position of headship in the home and consulting him on big decision issues, but also embracing the fact that you are a redeemed Eve, and you are free to be a pillar of strength in the marriage.
A godly husband trusts his wife’s judgment, opinions, and decisions.
A godly husband can humble himself to give ear to his wife’s ideas and advice.
You can still respect your husband by having opinions of your own, and telling him ‘no’ when he asks you to do any activity you’re not interested in. He will appreciate and needs your honesty.
You can still love your husband by making decisions for yourself – by embracing the fact that you are a free and redeemed Eve, that you can and should make decisions for yourself based upon what the Bible says is true, good, and right, and that you can demonstrate your trustworthiness to your spouse.***