I’m going to be away from the blogosphere for a few days since I’m going to see my youngest sister, Alicia graduate from college. This is a big weekend for her, so naturally I want to spend as much time with her as possible, away from my computer. I will not have an electronic leash while I’m gone, so if you have questions, comments, concerns, etc, I may not be able to respond right away. Also I won’t be on Twitter so no #evesgarden and other regular tweets.
I want to take a moment to tell my sister, Alicia just how proud I am of her for graduating college before her 21st birthday! She is an inspiring, beautiful young woman, and I’m so grateful she’s my sister.
When you were born, and Mom brought you home, you were so quiet. Now of course, you’re not so quiet anymore. In fact, you speak up for what is right, and stand firm by your convictions. You’ve blossomed into a gorgeous, independent, young woman!
This is for you!
For all the times…
…you’ve been silly with me…
…you didn’t know what I was doing, but went along with it anyway…
…you put up with my crazy friends…
…all the long phone calls we’ve had together…
…all the plays we made up and acted out (and our creative costuming)…
…that time we pretended to be modeling for a sunglasses ad…
…shades. enough said.
…we rocked out to Switchfoot with me (full hair whipping rocking out) [unfortunately I don't have a picture of that, but I do have this one of us from a Switchfoot concert)]…
…all our trips to San Francisco (Ghiradelli Square, Pier 39, fun times!)
…you performed with me (and I’d add a special note: Alicia and I choregraphed, sang, and danced to the Sisters song from White Christmas in replacement of my father/daughter dance at my wedding. This was a very special moment for me!)…
…you put up with your bossy big sister…
…you blended with my new family…
…our road trips…
…our beach trips…
…our Starbucks trips…
…our trips to the cross…
…we decorated for Christmas together and of course, had loads of fun…
…you cheered for me (like after my group won an award for Film Fest)…
…you listened to me…
…we laughed together…
…and we laughed some more…
…we argued and made up because we love each other…
…you’ve supported me (this was the day we saw a rainbow after I’d learned of Alex’s passing)…
…you’ve celebrated with me…
Thank you doesn’t seem like enough! I’m so proud of you! You rock!
You’ve been one of my best and closest friends in life!
*Editor’s Note: For Marriage Moments Mondays, I’ll be adding inspirational words/quotes/Bible verses about marriage in the future. This week’s quote was taken from my shared Favorite Marriage Quotes board from Pinterest.
“Love means acting in one’s best interest regardless of how you feel.” ~Jimmy Evans
Do you act in your husband’s best interest regardless of what your feelings dictate?
Sometimes this is hard, especially when your husband has just hurt you. I often have to bite my so I can keep myself from saying something I’ll regret.
I have discovered the closer I am in my relationship with God, the sharper the pin-pricking of the Holy Spirit and my conscience are, and the more willing I am to take a moment to get my emotions in check.
Notice I didn’t say the easier it gets. I don’t think it’s ever easy. It’s unnatural to be kind to those who hurt you, especially someone as close to you as your husband. But it’s what God calls you to do.
“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:21
You’re not responsible for your spouse’s sin, and your spouse isn’t responsible for your sin. That’s an issue your spouse has to work out between him and God. You might say, “I wouldn’t act this way if you didn’t dot-dot-dot,” or “You make me so mad.” But in reality, your husband doesn’t control your reactions. He simply triggers these reactions, exposing your own sin – your impatience, your anger, your unwillingness to forgive, etc.
When I first got married, I remember spitefully refusing to get up in the morning when my husband and I had a bad fight the night before. I refused to get up and help him get ready for work. I refused to make his lunch. I refused to spend any time with him before he left.
Yes, I know. It’s okay if you’re thinking it – I was a terrible wife!
I thought I was proving my point – that it was not okay for Adam to treat me the way he did and if he did, he would have to face the consequences.
The problem is - I’m not my husband’s mother. I’m not his Holy Spirit. My job is to love him unconditionally, not punish him when he does wrong.
You know the old phrase, “you attract a lot my flies with honey than you do with vinegar?”
My selfishness and stubbornness didn’t show love. It didn’t make Adam want to love me more. It didn’t make me easy to approach, to apologize to. It created barriers. I was fighting for all the wrong reasons and all the wrong things!
When I’m fighting with my husband, I usually lose sight of whom I should be fighting and what I should be fighting for. I fight to get my way, to be right, or to prove my point. But the real struggle couples face is not for such temporal victories. As much as we might feel it in the moment, our spouses are not the enemy. Rather than engage in combat with each other, we need to ward off Satan’s tactics. Rather than seeking to vindicate ourselves, we need to fight for the glory of God, the preservation of our marriages, our spiritual health…
It’s in your husband’s best interest to fight for your marriage and against Satan whose primary goal is to undermine your marriage. It’s in your husband’s best interest for you to act honorably when he acts dishonorably. It’s in your husband’s best interest to love him even when he isn’t loving toward you. (Now I’m not saying put up with abuse – that’s a completely different subject for a different time).
Sometimes, for Adam and I, all it takes is me being willing to offer my hand, even if I don’t have anything to say yet.
God tells us exactly what this love should look like…
“Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
This is what acting in your spouse’s best interest looks like- love in action - love that doesn’t fail even though your husband forgot to replace the cat litter, love that doesn’t fail even though your husband spoke condescendingly to you, love that doesn’t fail even though your husband went over-budget this month… love that never fails!
What do you think acting in your spouse’s best interest looks like? How do you act in your spouse’s best interest, even when you don’t “feel” the least bit loving?
Share posts from your blog on the topics of Christian faith and spirituality [becoming "His" Eve], the single life & serving God, staying pure before marriage, preparing for marriage, the joys & struggles of married life, date night ideas (for married couples and dating/engaged couples), and marital intimacy [becoming "his" Eve].
If you were to quantify the amount of work a mother does in the home and with the children into dollar amounts, she would be making less this year than she did the previous two years.
This story came up on my TV yesterday when I was watching the news. I was equally disgusted and saddened by this news. Mothers out there don’t need to know that what they’re doing isn’t worth much when the exact reality is true. Mothers are investing in the future generations. You can’t quantify that or put a price tag on it or measure a paycheck amount by that!
They carry a child for nine months and then go through excruciating birth pains, but the blood, sweat, and tears don’t stop there. Dirty diapers. Fussy kids. Sibling squabbles. Fast forward and you’re into pre-teen and teen years of drama, the opposite sex, fashion crises, acne, awkward body shape, and the potential for more dangerous introductions into drinking, drugs, porn, sex, etc. Then the kids leave for college or to go out into the workforce and mom has to let go, and perhaps someday the child gets married and the bonds of mother-child will never be the same.
Now I am not a mother yet. But I had a wonderful mother who deserves all the credit, accolades, and encouragement she can get!
There is no higher calling than being a wife and a mother. The Bible certainly praises women who choose to follow this calling – Sarah, mother of Isaac; Jochebed, mother of Aaron, Miriam, and Moses; Hannah, mother of Samuel; Naomi, mother-in-law to Ruth; Bathsheba, mother of Solomon; Elizabeth, mother of John the Baptist; and Mary, mother of Jesus.
This Mother’s Day purpose to be Mom-Affirming!
Think beyond a chocolate box, flowers, and a card. The most important thing you can do for a mom is to love her unconditionally, and let her know that her work is of value.
Romantic Ideas for Husbands to do for Their Wives
If you’re a husband and you & your wife have kids, affirm your wife’s calling as a wife and mother. Give her some “mom” time off by taking care of the kids, or arrange for a sitter and take her out for a special dinner to her favorite restaurant. If you can, splurge and go dancing or get tickets to a movie or a live theater showing.
Help the kids pick out or make special gifts for mom. I remember one year, my sisters and I put on a little skit to show mom how much we loved her. My husband has a funny story – his dad would take him and his brother to the store and for several years in a row, and they bought the exact same thing – big fake diamond jewelry. Well, it’s the thought that counts.
Here’s a great suggestion I read for husbands to do for their wives: make a coupon book. Give her some time off from her “mommy duties.” Offer to make breakfast for the kids one morning so she can sleep in. Take the kids to the playground so she can have an hour to herself. Volunteer to do a household chore she dislikes for a whole week. Draw a bubble bath for her while she gets the kids to bed, complete with candlelight and a neck massage.
Ideas for Children
Older kids can make coupon books too. When my mom was homeschooling my sisters and I, and I was in 8th grade, I offered to teach my siblings school for a day so mom could have a day off. You don’t have to be that extreme. You could offer to make dinner one night, do one extra chore so mom can enjoy some down time, or offer to drive siblings to school, practice, an event, etc.
For grown children, treat your mom to a special lunch so she doesn’t have to cook, and make sure she orders dessert!
For moms and daughters, do some fun mother-daughter activity together. When I was a kid, I used to love Mama date nights where mom and I would go out together. Do something fun together like getting your nails done, swimming, bargain shopping, or a picnic in the park.
If you can’t be there in person, send your mother a lovely gift. Try a certificate to a spa or restaurant or even a gas card so she can enjoy a weekend away. I surprised my mother and brought her on a trip to Vegas with my husband and his family a year ago. Make something special for her – a card, baked goodies, homemade soap, etc.
I love this idea from DIY Life – make a memory journal. Compile photographs, memories, stories, and mementos from your childhood in a scrapbook album.
I don’t want to be in a generation where we under-appreciate and under-value, or worse, ignore our moms!
Perhaps you didn’t have the greatest childhood, maybe this is the time to try and make amends with your mother and love her like Jesus.
Regardless of where you are in life right now, do something special for a mother this weekend – whether it be your own mom or your spouse’s mom, whether it be a friend or neighbor, or maybe even a complete stranger. Do one random act of kindness to let that mother know just how special she is, and that people notice her and care for her.
What if You’re Not a Mom Yet?
If you aren’t a mother yet, but you have a “little bun in the oven,” take a moment to praise God for His precious gift of life and pray with your husband for your future as parents and for the future of your child also. Seek out the wisdom of other parents who already have children.
For a mom to be, give her a special journal to write down her thoughts, feelings, prayers, and concerns about being a mother and to give her an opportunity to write to her future child. I would love to do this someday and give the journal to my kids when they graduate high school.
If you’re married, but without kids, like Adam and I, take this time to enjoy your life and serve God wholeheartedly together. Consider creating a pre-kids bucket list of all the things you’d like to do together (or that would be easier to do together) before kids, and purpose to do 1-3 of them this year! (And don’t forget to thank your mothers for bringing you life!)
Welcome to the first ever BHE link-up party. I’m so excited to be including this on my blog now, and I can’t wait to get to know you and your blogs a bit better.
Just a few quick parameters:
1. Share posts from your blog on the topics of Christian faith and spirituality [becoming "His" Eve], the single life & serving God, staying pure before marriage, preparing for marriage, the joys & struggles of married life, date night ideas (for married couples and dating/engaged couples), and marital intimacy [becoming "his" Eve].
2. Content unrelated to the above topics will be approved on a case-by-case basis.
3. Link back to the BHE community by including my button or using a text link. Please link to your actual post, not your main blog address so readers can link on the relevant post and not have to search through your blog.
4. Please take the time to click through and comment on at least one other blog. This is how we can support and encourage one another in the blogging community.
5. Please don’t link up to inappropriate content. Inappropriate content includes, but is not entirely limited to, anything racist or derogatory, sexist, lewd or crude, sexually explicit, and anything that strongly advocates or promotes an un-Biblical action or deliberately ungodly lifestyle. Your link will be deleted.
I was privileged to grow up in California and have access to authentic foreign food. I grew up right around the corner from a great Mexican market with yummy burritos and some of my favorite family dinners were at a lovely authentic family-owned Mexican restaurant.
Cinco de Mayo, or the 5th of May, is on Sunday. The day commemorates the unlikely victory of the 4000 Mexican soldiers over the twice as many invading undefeated French forces in Puebla, Mexico on May 5, 1862 (not to be confused with Mexican Independence Day). The holiday was first created by Mexicans and Latinos living in California during the American Civil War. Today it is observed in regions of Mexico (such as Puebla) and the U.S. and is a celebration of Mexican heritage and pride.
Susan Breslow Sardone, writer for About.com, writes, “Similar to St. Patrick’s Day and Columbus Day, Cinco de Mayo is one of those special times when everyone feels a little bit Mexican in their soul.“
As always, I love any excuse to celebrate a holiday. Whether you have Mexican/Latino roots or you just “feel a little Mexican” for the day, you can make the day romantic fun for you and your spouse.
Cinco de Mayo Romance Ideas
1. Attend a Cinco de Mayo street fair or parade together.
Bring a picnic blanket to relax on in the shade and eat ethnic food, listen to fun festive music, and walk around, taking in the sights while holding hands.
If you live in California, take a day trip and visit one of the Spanish missions.
2. Make ethnic Mexican food at home.
I have a whole board on Pinterest devoted to Cinco de Mayo, Mexican, and Southwestern food and cultural ideas. Consider setting up a simple taco bar or tostadas bar with all the ingredients and toppings (soft tortilla shells, crispy taco shells, sour cream, guacamole, salsa, shredded lettuce, shredded cheeses, tomatoes, chiles, olives, avocado chunks, corn, kidney beans, etc)for you and your loved one to just pile on what you like.
Buy a little potted cactus to use as your centerpiece. I love this idea above found on Pinterest of sticking cacti inside a glass vase and surrounding with candles. How elegant! Or hang a red chili pepper wreath.
Use green, white, and red, the colors of the Mexican flag, to decorate and set your table.
Don’t forget red candles for a little ambiance (or go a step further and purchase a red chili pepper lights string for a spicy glow). Or make these pretty bell pepper lights.
Make tissue paper flowers for your at-home private fiesta. This website has a great tutorial.
Hand feed each other salsa or guacamole and chips, and steal smooches in between.
Challenge your spouse to a chip eating contest. BEWARE: be careful not to choke and you might get really sick so you might want to limit it to a number of chips in a certain amount of time (i.e. 1 min, 2 mins).Whoever loses owes the winner a favor of the winner’s choice, i.e. hand or foot or back massage, a make-out session, or something more ;o) Be creative! It’s really win-win either way.
4. If you don’t want to brave cooking in the kitchen together, go out to eat at a Mexican restaurant.
Commit to try at least one new thing during dinner. See if you can find a restaurant that offers some kind of Mexican music entertainment like Latin jazz singers or a mariachi band.
5. Take a salsa or Latin jazz dance class together.
See if your local community college or local community or recreation center offers inexpensive classes (either one time or longer if you like). They might even offer a discount around Cinco de Mayo. Who knows?
6. Visit a Mexican or Latino art museum, cultural center, or exhibit together.
7. Get or make your own piñata and fill it with your husband/wife’s favorite goodies: favorite gums, candies, trinkets, and toys.
If you want to be really authentic, try filling your piñata with traditional Mexican candies like leche quemada (burnt milk fudge), jamoncillo de leche (milk fudge), chocolate dipped mango, cocadas de arequipe (dulce de leche and coconut bars), and other Mexican candies and sweets.
8. Visit a Mexican market and buy some Mexican pan dulche. What is pan dulche you might ask? It literally translates “sweet bread.” It’s a Mexican sweetbread with a sweet decorative topping (a little like a doughnut). Churros are the most commonly heard of pan dulche. I used to pick one up on the way home from work when I lived in Cali. Yummy and generally fairly inexpensive. Like I got 2 for $1, but it depends on your location. This lady wrote a great article about the types of pan dulche. There’s something for everyone.
Linking Up With:
“Messy Marriage: Real. Raw. Redemptive.”
“To Love, Honor, and Vacuum…when you feel more like a maid than a wife and a mother.”
I'm so glad you found Becoming His Eve. My name is Hannah Williams (a.k.a. Adam's Eve) and I am a spunky housewife married to a wonderful man of God and an amazing, loving, sexy husband who gives big bear hugs and wonderful words of encouragement. And in case, you're wondering, my husband's name really is Adam. ;o) I have a passion for young women, writing, books, baking, nature, and music! I want to use my gifts, talents, and abilities to help transform relationships and communities for the Kingdom of Christ. To read more about me, click on the About Adam's Eve link.